Had my toenails done today. Got a pedicure, just for fun. I decided to finally join in the mani-pedi craze. It feels so good to be pampered. Now my toenails are all shiny and square. Cuticles all cut away, feet smooth and silky. Can't help but keep looking at my toenails now. They are just so shiny and cute. :)
Think this mani-pedi thing should be a permanant feature in my life. I think i deserve it. Occupational hazards of marking and walking around too much definitely deserves a monthly pampering. Definitely going to use my spa membership too. A shiatsu massage perhaps?
Note for myself: This holiday I am to focus on my well being.
Things to do:
1. Keep fit - Yoga and skating
2. Go for a holiday
3. Learn a new sport
4. Pick up a new hobby ( if there is time, money and interest)
Ok, I think I am all set for the holidays. My plans will go full steam ahead from Monday, 7 November 2005.
To all celebrating Deepavali and Hari Raya Aidilfitri - Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya!
Happy DeepaRaya everyone.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
Summary of events
One of the most delicious food on earth is also a poison. Just ate buah salak (for the life of me, i dont know what this fruit is called in English) all preserved in vinegar. The tangy taste of the fruit combined with the sweet, soury taste of vineagr is oh so delish. But it is oh so not good for me. I am still suffering the consequences. Coughing and wheezing, phlegm coming up. The taste of the delicacy is worth the discomfort. :)
I bought the fruit at the Geylang bazaar. This will be the last year the bazaar will be held at the market. They are going to pull it down soon. Felt nostalgic going through the market, visiting my fave shops. Going to miss all the shops there (esp the one with the cute Indian shopkeeper who looks like a Bollywood actor. Hahaha). The market may be dingy and it doesn't look so clean but it is so colourful and authentic. It exists on its own socio-political-economical cosmos of its own. It is one of the unique vastiges of Singapore that is left and the government has to take it away. Fire hazard, they say...is it though...? Never mind, I should go down to the bazaar again and take pictures of it. The colours of the bazaar in the Geylang market.
eh, just realised that I went through the bazaar everyday since Saturday. Everytime for different reasons. Sat and Sun I went to the bazaar to buy things for the orphans at Pertapis Children's Home. We made quite a bargain. Bought bags, watches and some other stuff at really, really low prices. Of course most of the time Feisal has the sad look on his face that most people cannot resist and so they are compelled to give us cheap prices. hahah. Anyway, it was all for the children. Actually, most people are willing to help us out . Mention orphans and they do not mind selling us their goods at rock bottom prices.
The children at Pertapis are really very sweet kids but very difficult to manage. For a fleeting moment I felt I was like in 4G or 4B. The only difference is that I can scold my students but i cant scold these kids. But, there was no need for scoldings, these are a bunch of very sensitive kids from broken homes. So love and care are much better. We did make their day. They had fun playing all our games and of course they loved our goody bags and the hari raya money! But Ustaz Nazmi did gently remind us that one day of fun and games is all well and good but some of the kids will not be spending Hari Raya with their family and are staying in the home.... sad. He did ask us that if we could, we should try to come down again on the eve or on Hari Raya itself and spend some time with the kids. I was awed at his dedication to the welfare of the kids. He is such a soft spoken and gentle person and he spend all his time in the home. He himself won't be celebrating the Hari Raya with his family as he has to take care of the kids in the home. Such dedication is very admirable.
Quite an emo weekend, really. Started on friday with the sec 4s graduation ceremony. Not sad, but proud. How they have grown since I took them last year and they are all ready to leave. Spread their wings, fly away and find their way into the world and make their mark. Such characters, each and every one of them. I will miss all of them. The thinsg they do that just crack me up... I do hope that in some tiny way I have made a difference in their lives. And if one day any of them become famous, I could bask in their glory and tell people: S/he was my student once. heh, such thoughts....I suspect this is the feeling that all teachers talk about when they say teaching is rewarding. (the pay and the hours do suck, and well our HR is lousy. I really should not be complaining ... )
I bought the fruit at the Geylang bazaar. This will be the last year the bazaar will be held at the market. They are going to pull it down soon. Felt nostalgic going through the market, visiting my fave shops. Going to miss all the shops there (esp the one with the cute Indian shopkeeper who looks like a Bollywood actor. Hahaha). The market may be dingy and it doesn't look so clean but it is so colourful and authentic. It exists on its own socio-political-economical cosmos of its own. It is one of the unique vastiges of Singapore that is left and the government has to take it away. Fire hazard, they say...is it though...? Never mind, I should go down to the bazaar again and take pictures of it. The colours of the bazaar in the Geylang market.
eh, just realised that I went through the bazaar everyday since Saturday. Everytime for different reasons. Sat and Sun I went to the bazaar to buy things for the orphans at Pertapis Children's Home. We made quite a bargain. Bought bags, watches and some other stuff at really, really low prices. Of course most of the time Feisal has the sad look on his face that most people cannot resist and so they are compelled to give us cheap prices. hahah. Anyway, it was all for the children. Actually, most people are willing to help us out . Mention orphans and they do not mind selling us their goods at rock bottom prices.
The children at Pertapis are really very sweet kids but very difficult to manage. For a fleeting moment I felt I was like in 4G or 4B. The only difference is that I can scold my students but i cant scold these kids. But, there was no need for scoldings, these are a bunch of very sensitive kids from broken homes. So love and care are much better. We did make their day. They had fun playing all our games and of course they loved our goody bags and the hari raya money! But Ustaz Nazmi did gently remind us that one day of fun and games is all well and good but some of the kids will not be spending Hari Raya with their family and are staying in the home.... sad. He did ask us that if we could, we should try to come down again on the eve or on Hari Raya itself and spend some time with the kids. I was awed at his dedication to the welfare of the kids. He is such a soft spoken and gentle person and he spend all his time in the home. He himself won't be celebrating the Hari Raya with his family as he has to take care of the kids in the home. Such dedication is very admirable.
Quite an emo weekend, really. Started on friday with the sec 4s graduation ceremony. Not sad, but proud. How they have grown since I took them last year and they are all ready to leave. Spread their wings, fly away and find their way into the world and make their mark. Such characters, each and every one of them. I will miss all of them. The thinsg they do that just crack me up... I do hope that in some tiny way I have made a difference in their lives. And if one day any of them become famous, I could bask in their glory and tell people: S/he was my student once. heh, such thoughts....I suspect this is the feeling that all teachers talk about when they say teaching is rewarding. (the pay and the hours do suck, and well our HR is lousy. I really should not be complaining ... )
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
who says kindness pays?
So what do you know... the world is indeed a strange one. Ever tried to be kind and get scolded for doing so? I am still reeling from the scolding. I mean, I was just trying to be kind. So, perhaps it was wrong because of specific reasons unknown to me. So, it is still not my fault. Sometimes, it is a lose-lose situation. You help, you are in the wrong and who knows if I did not help, I would still be in the wrong. Totally understand the reasons for not helping...after I was told about it. I still think I should not be scolded for it. The reasons could have been told to me nicely and after all how was I to know your reasons in the first place.
I try very hard but if it is never good enough, then what the --- am I suppose to do. Maybe, I should practice showing my emotions. Hurt, anger, disappointment, displeasure, then maybe they will think twice about scolding me unnecessarily. But, It is just not in my nature to do so. Talk about welfare and consideration for others. Where is my welfare? where is your consideration for me? So hurt and angry that I just want to swear.
Maybe I should just see a shrink to talk about my bottled up feelings and thoughts...
I try very hard but if it is never good enough, then what the --- am I suppose to do. Maybe, I should practice showing my emotions. Hurt, anger, disappointment, displeasure, then maybe they will think twice about scolding me unnecessarily. But, It is just not in my nature to do so. Talk about welfare and consideration for others. Where is my welfare? where is your consideration for me? So hurt and angry that I just want to swear.
Maybe I should just see a shrink to talk about my bottled up feelings and thoughts...
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Around the world (S'pore) we go
Let's face it, we gals rock the world when we get together. Planning things are so much fun. Amazing how we achieve so much amidst all the giggles, side tracks and interruptions. But, we did. Heh, we are just seasoned volunteers. Most people will panic when nothing is finalised the week before the event, but not us. Cool as cucumbers, actually, more like noisy and giggly bunch of .... err... I think nothing is comparable to us.
So to make things funner, we went to Giant at Turf City to buy our prizes. We could have gone to shop and save at Sing Post building or Sheng Siong at the corner, but where is the fun in that? Then we went to Cheese Prata shop at Clementi, at the foot of NUS to eat prata and roti john for the fun of it.
Now, whoever heard of ordering roti john chicken cheese BUT cheese on one side only. Why? Cos Chilliz don't eat cheese. Well, we did. Heh, first time i suppose they get weird orders. Think the family beside us was scandalised by the noise we made. And the very innocent line on the menu that go us all laughing for 5 minutes. We were so naughty ... heh heh. Cheeky gals.... :)
So to make things funner, we went to Giant at Turf City to buy our prizes. We could have gone to shop and save at Sing Post building or Sheng Siong at the corner, but where is the fun in that? Then we went to Cheese Prata shop at Clementi, at the foot of NUS to eat prata and roti john for the fun of it.
Now, whoever heard of ordering roti john chicken cheese BUT cheese on one side only. Why? Cos Chilliz don't eat cheese. Well, we did. Heh, first time i suppose they get weird orders. Think the family beside us was scandalised by the noise we made. And the very innocent line on the menu that go us all laughing for 5 minutes. We were so naughty ... heh heh. Cheeky gals.... :)
Monday, October 10, 2005
the Ups of life
Life is really like an undulating river. There are times when things get so depressing and the next moment, a series of events happen that just make you love the world.
Went shopping last Friday. I really cannot afford to spend but I went shopping on behalf of my mother. I was supposed to buy my nephews clothes and stuff for my mum. So I went shopping using my mum's money. Bought plenty of stuff for them. It feels good to go shopping, and it feels even better when I am not using my own money. in all fairness, none (except one- and I used my one money) was for me. Boy, kids clothes are really expensive. I have bought my nephews clothes many times now but it never fails to amaze me how much they cost. But what do I care? Shopping is great fun. Maybe, when I want to quit teaching I should be a personal shopper. It gives me an all time high that not even chocolates can provide. I was so engrossed in shopping i lost track of time and missed the break fast time. Reached home at 7 plus and my mum and I excitedly pored over the things I bought for her and my nephews. Gushing over the beautiful things I bought gave me another high. (Why do people turn to drugs or sniff glue when shopping gives one such a high)
Saw this sapphire ring at Lee Hwa. Very tempted to buy. Giving my self some more time to think about buying that ring. It is incredibly gorgeous.
Saturday slept until 2. Felt very lethargic after that. Can't even play with my nephews. Sunday I went trigger happy and keep taking photos of my cats. See some of his photos:
http://www.shahnan.com/gallery2/main.php
School was quite fun today. Very extraordinary. Some students said it was cool. staff room got flooded. Water cooler pipe in the lounge burst on Sunday evening. Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink....who wants to anyway? Lucky only some of my students compo books got wet and I had to throw away a few of 3A's history project. We had to do some impromptu spring cleaning and throw away damaged stuff. Lucky I dont have much stuff under the desk. All my mess are on the desk.
Practically did not do much apart from the cleaning up so I went home early. When I crossed the road towards the petrol station, I heard someone saying hello to me. I turned and I saw this Mat with yellow hair waving and saying hello. Much confused and amused, I walked on. Undeterred, he called out again, so I replied with a smile and a wave. A tall wall seperates this romeo and myself, but he somehow managed to stand on top of something so that he can call out to me. He asked for my phone number and asked to be friends. Very amused by now, I thought i have passed the age where boys and girls do casual flirting like this. I shook my head to his questions, but i really do feel like laughing. He doesn't sound so disappointed though, it was more of a fun conquest for him.
So, it was a happy 4 days. I just have to remind myself that things dont remain happy always. Life is tough, especially working life. At least I have the holidays to look forward to.
Went shopping last Friday. I really cannot afford to spend but I went shopping on behalf of my mother. I was supposed to buy my nephews clothes and stuff for my mum. So I went shopping using my mum's money. Bought plenty of stuff for them. It feels good to go shopping, and it feels even better when I am not using my own money. in all fairness, none (except one- and I used my one money) was for me. Boy, kids clothes are really expensive. I have bought my nephews clothes many times now but it never fails to amaze me how much they cost. But what do I care? Shopping is great fun. Maybe, when I want to quit teaching I should be a personal shopper. It gives me an all time high that not even chocolates can provide. I was so engrossed in shopping i lost track of time and missed the break fast time. Reached home at 7 plus and my mum and I excitedly pored over the things I bought for her and my nephews. Gushing over the beautiful things I bought gave me another high. (Why do people turn to drugs or sniff glue when shopping gives one such a high)
Saw this sapphire ring at Lee Hwa. Very tempted to buy. Giving my self some more time to think about buying that ring. It is incredibly gorgeous.
Saturday slept until 2. Felt very lethargic after that. Can't even play with my nephews. Sunday I went trigger happy and keep taking photos of my cats. See some of his photos:
http://www.shahnan.com/gallery2/main.php
School was quite fun today. Very extraordinary. Some students said it was cool. staff room got flooded. Water cooler pipe in the lounge burst on Sunday evening. Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink....who wants to anyway? Lucky only some of my students compo books got wet and I had to throw away a few of 3A's history project. We had to do some impromptu spring cleaning and throw away damaged stuff. Lucky I dont have much stuff under the desk. All my mess are on the desk.
Practically did not do much apart from the cleaning up so I went home early. When I crossed the road towards the petrol station, I heard someone saying hello to me. I turned and I saw this Mat with yellow hair waving and saying hello. Much confused and amused, I walked on. Undeterred, he called out again, so I replied with a smile and a wave. A tall wall seperates this romeo and myself, but he somehow managed to stand on top of something so that he can call out to me. He asked for my phone number and asked to be friends. Very amused by now, I thought i have passed the age where boys and girls do casual flirting like this. I shook my head to his questions, but i really do feel like laughing. He doesn't sound so disappointed though, it was more of a fun conquest for him.
So, it was a happy 4 days. I just have to remind myself that things dont remain happy always. Life is tough, especially working life. At least I have the holidays to look forward to.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Found! A cure for imsomniacs!
I have found the cure to imsomnia: marking! It is true. Seriously folks, if you have insomnia, just go to any one of your teacher friends and offer them your help. You not only benefit yourself by getting the well deserved sleep you need but you are also reliefing the burden of your teacher friends. However, to get the best cure, you must not just get any subjects for marking. Choose, for instance, subjects like English and Humanities. These are the best cures. The repetitive essays, structured and source based answers will put you to sleep instantly. If not, I guarantee by the 15th or 20th script, you will be in dreamland. Trust me, I have felt the power of marking. I had enough of it that by looking at one exam script I will feel sleepy. So, step right up for your cures now.
(FYI: Next post will be after I finish end of year exam marking and perhaps when O levels have started.)
(FYI: Next post will be after I finish end of year exam marking and perhaps when O levels have started.)
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Are we tolerant enough?
Went into sleep mode immediately upon reaching home. Very tired yesterday. Slept a good 12 hours and I was awoken by this news:
YET another blogger was hauled to court yesterday for posting allegedly racist remarks online - the third person charged under the Sedition Act this week. Seventeen-year-old private school student Gan Huai Shi is accused of promoting ill will and hostility among different races through comments on his blog.
Straits Times - 17/09/05
A 17 year old with so much hatred in him. When I read the news, I felt justice was served, after all, I read his blog and I was angered by his entries. But I felt pity for him. Pity that he habours so much hatred - how does one become so racist? Certainly it is not a genetic defect. One wonders ....
How would my students fare if there is a test on being tolerant? I wonder what are their thoughts on this issue? One thing I note, they have to learn to be more tactful. I do hope that their interactions with me has been of some use and educational. At least, hopefully, they do know more than my standard joke that underneath the scarf I am bald (sometimes, I say I have purple hair), have no ears nor neck and that I don't get a heat stroke despite wearing long sleeves and pants plus scarf under the hot sun.
My take on it: Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but to incite intolerance and ill will is bad. To talk about it and discuss it and learn more to dispel myths, sterotypes and to encourage understanding would be great. You know, everyone should have a good dose of Russel Peters and learn to laugh at themselves and streotypes and then watch "American History X" and then do a discussion on the futility of hate and intolerance. (Of course, the immature students would just misuse Russel Peters and concoct more Fat Mama jokes during training or think it is alright to tell me degratory racist jokes.)
Problem is, it is a slippery issue. Talk all we want till the cows come home, but something more has to be done about this.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
What the ...?
Feeling very abandoned at the moment. I don't think I am cut out for this. Am I even cut out for anything? I am so questioning my life and choices now. A horrid day, stupid me, mistakes made. I am not liking my life at this moment.
Lesson learnt: very valuable. hate being put in a spot. I am too nice, I think, to people. So I expect people to be nice to me. Then I get so upset when they don't because I don't deserve it. I didn't do anything to deserve that treatment. I know where I went wrong but I dont think I deserve it like that, no matter who you are. I should be meaner, then when someone treat me in that way I would expect it. Tit for tat, right?
I am so hurt to the core.
Lesson learnt: very valuable. hate being put in a spot. I am too nice, I think, to people. So I expect people to be nice to me. Then I get so upset when they don't because I don't deserve it. I didn't do anything to deserve that treatment. I know where I went wrong but I dont think I deserve it like that, no matter who you are. I should be meaner, then when someone treat me in that way I would expect it. Tit for tat, right?
I am so hurt to the core.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
The value of friendship
I met Mai this morning at Mc's. We had a nice talk. It is rare to meet her these days cos she has betrayed us easterners and she is now living on the other side of Singapore. Haha haa, Eastern redneck and proud of it. Meeting her just now reinforced my idea of friendship. This has been on my mind for some time now. How much do you value friendship? What does one mean when one is a friend?
See, friendship needs work. Like in any relationship, one needs to work on it. Build bonds, make memories together, share gossip and communicate. I don't understand it when someone told me we will be friends and then guess what, nothing from that person. Do you value your friendship, then?
Amongst my TKAmazons, Sohabahs and other friends we don't meet up as often as we should or like nor do we communicate that often, but see we drop emails, simple SMSes to say hello. Something, anything to tell our friends, 'hey you, U ok there? I am ok and look you are special to me cos we are friends.'
Oh crap... we all have different lives now, careers take up 90% of our time and then family and what nots, sure very little time left for friends. I so do understand. "X is busy. Work is tough, u know. That's why X has not been keeping in contact." Bullshit! Everybody is busy and don't talk to me about being busy. I am busy too. Teaching does not stop when the bell goes at 245. I am stressed and busy that I even dream of working at night. And my friends who do keep in touch are also busy, busy ppl too. That person is not the only busy person around. Hey, we all can keep in touch. It does not take 10 mins to SMS or drop an email.
Well, I give up! Here is an eulogy to X:
X, we were friends. We had good times, we shared a lot and I truly enjoyed our conversations. X was funny, fun and interesting to be with. Things happened and we had a falling out. My fault, I know. But we promised to remain friends. But X did not keep X's end of the promise. I was disappointed. X, I tried, you know I did. So X, goodbye. I will stop trying. X was missed, but now no longer.
See, friendship needs work. Like in any relationship, one needs to work on it. Build bonds, make memories together, share gossip and communicate. I don't understand it when someone told me we will be friends and then guess what, nothing from that person. Do you value your friendship, then?
Amongst my TKAmazons, Sohabahs and other friends we don't meet up as often as we should or like nor do we communicate that often, but see we drop emails, simple SMSes to say hello. Something, anything to tell our friends, 'hey you, U ok there? I am ok and look you are special to me cos we are friends.'
Oh crap... we all have different lives now, careers take up 90% of our time and then family and what nots, sure very little time left for friends. I so do understand. "X is busy. Work is tough, u know. That's why X has not been keeping in contact." Bullshit! Everybody is busy and don't talk to me about being busy. I am busy too. Teaching does not stop when the bell goes at 245. I am stressed and busy that I even dream of working at night. And my friends who do keep in touch are also busy, busy ppl too. That person is not the only busy person around. Hey, we all can keep in touch. It does not take 10 mins to SMS or drop an email.
Well, I give up! Here is an eulogy to X:
X, we were friends. We had good times, we shared a lot and I truly enjoyed our conversations. X was funny, fun and interesting to be with. Things happened and we had a falling out. My fault, I know. But we promised to remain friends. But X did not keep X's end of the promise. I was disappointed. X, I tried, you know I did. So X, goodbye. I will stop trying. X was missed, but now no longer.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
blast to the past
Interesting day - today seems like I stepped back into the past when I was still actively volunteering. Interfaith forum at Furama (former Novotel Apollo) hotel. Basically, doing mindless adhoc logistics, secretariat job and enjoying myself with my friends and meeting new ppl and eating free and good food. hehe
Nazry and Nazirah are still in the honeymoon period. Sweet in the beginning but they got neauseating and we felt very arkward. Haha. Oooh and this hotel manager was kind of cute. I noticed and so did my friends that he seemed to be checking me out. Was flattered. Heh heh.
The rest of the day was spent in just lounging around and ushering ppl and eating. Basiclaly it went like this:
7a.m: Breakfast at Mc's. HAd Big Breakfast
8-9 am: Lounge around at the Sofa while waiting for Darul staff to arrive.
9-10: Set up registration booth, free pubs and stuff and then suhered ppl in to teh ballroom.
10: Second and third breakfast - hotel food and half a filet fish and suusage egg mc muffin from Mcs that Mahdi bought for us.
11- 12.30: lounged around and had a good time talking away.
12.30-2: Lunch. Food from Kintamani Restaurant. Ate a lot, got very sleepy.
2-2.30: sat at the sofa and fell asleep
2.30- 3: went to the hotel pool because it was so cold in the ballroom.
3-3.30: lounged at the prayer area and started clearing up a bit.
3.30-4: Ate leftover hotcakes from Mcs
4-4.30: cleared the main stuff.
4.30: went home and slept until 6 (sleep was interrupted cos Hejun finally sms me :p)
Gosh! I ate a lot and practically did nothing. It really felt like it was a blast from the past. Sure our conversations are now more matured, politics, work, marriage, sex, but for this one day I felt so free from worries and I did not feel so burdened by responsibilities and work. It was just fun and laughter and catching up with friends. No stress.
We did something fun at the end when all the participants left. We collected all the writing material - writing paper and pen- and all the sweets the hotel provided in one box. I took home 3 pens and a bowlful of sweets. hehee.
Nazry and Nazirah are still in the honeymoon period. Sweet in the beginning but they got neauseating and we felt very arkward. Haha. Oooh and this hotel manager was kind of cute. I noticed and so did my friends that he seemed to be checking me out. Was flattered. Heh heh.
The rest of the day was spent in just lounging around and ushering ppl and eating. Basiclaly it went like this:
7a.m: Breakfast at Mc's. HAd Big Breakfast
8-9 am: Lounge around at the Sofa while waiting for Darul staff to arrive.
9-10: Set up registration booth, free pubs and stuff and then suhered ppl in to teh ballroom.
10: Second and third breakfast - hotel food and half a filet fish and suusage egg mc muffin from Mcs that Mahdi bought for us.
11- 12.30: lounged around and had a good time talking away.
12.30-2: Lunch. Food from Kintamani Restaurant. Ate a lot, got very sleepy.
2-2.30: sat at the sofa and fell asleep
2.30- 3: went to the hotel pool because it was so cold in the ballroom.
3-3.30: lounged at the prayer area and started clearing up a bit.
3.30-4: Ate leftover hotcakes from Mcs
4-4.30: cleared the main stuff.
4.30: went home and slept until 6 (sleep was interrupted cos Hejun finally sms me :p)
Gosh! I ate a lot and practically did nothing. It really felt like it was a blast from the past. Sure our conversations are now more matured, politics, work, marriage, sex, but for this one day I felt so free from worries and I did not feel so burdened by responsibilities and work. It was just fun and laughter and catching up with friends. No stress.
We did something fun at the end when all the participants left. We collected all the writing material - writing paper and pen- and all the sweets the hotel provided in one box. I took home 3 pens and a bowlful of sweets. hehee.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
7 things
Just got home from teachers' day dinner. It was fun, retro and all. Played 2 games of pool after that. 2nd time in my life I played the game. I like the game but need loads of practice if I want to be good at it. The last time I played it was years ago when I was still in uni. And that was with my ex. Ok, well, I can use the TEN to brush up on my skills. :)
Anyway, I had to go home after that cos it was past midnight and my very conservative parents won't sleep if I dont go home. You can't educate your child and get them exposed to all sorts of cultures, values and ideas and expect them to live by your old fashioned principles. Seriously, the least they could do is know the world I am living in. "Karaoke is a bad influence, don't you dare go karaokeing." (Roll eyes) Principal and VP was karaokeing too, dear mum and dad. Bet they would just collapse if they knew I was playing pool in a smoky lounge and was the only gal in our group of 5. Shhh...don't tell them. Sigh...my parents. Got to accept them cos they are the only set of parents I have. Conservative as they are and ridiculous it seems that at my age I have to follow a set of rules that are outmoded, I won't rebel against them. Cos I was brought up to be a good girl and I love my parents unconditionally. They have my best interest at heart even though their rules and mindset frustrate me. I grew up fine; just zany, crazy, loud, adventure seeking and far from being the domesticated, soft, obedient and typical young Malay woman that my parents aspire me to be; so they must be doing something right.
But, in the end, I am just a repressed person underneath all that calm exterior. The wild streak is yearning to get out. Perhaps one day when I could do all what I want to do, by then my spirit would have died and I become typical. I hate being typical. All my life I fight against being typical and I am just so afraid I will end up being like one of those average typical Minah Janes out there. I just want to be me but it is funny, ironic even having your parents saying when you are a child : "when you grow up, you can be whatever you want to be." You can be anything but yourself, because what you are is dictated by what one's family and society expects you to be. I am something else to everybody else, but I am seldom ever me nowadays. I am beginning to lose touch with who I am these days.
Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum ...
Okie, here are seven things that aai asked me to do, not in random order:
seven things that scare me:
1. not obeying Him
2. scary movies - incredible tales included
3. not being able to provide for my family
4. being lonely and unloved - including losing those I love
5. being seen as irresponsible and incompetent
6. losing myself
7. no security for my future
seven things I like the most
1. knowing that He is always with me
2. chocolates
3. going out with someone who I am comfy with and have the same wavelength as me. Read: opposite gender.
4. cats - they lead uncomplicated lives
5. daydreaming
6. the scent of freshly cut grass/ the forest after a rain
7. walking on dewy grass in the early morning
seven most important things in my room
1. my bed
2. my pc
3. my drawer with all my important documents
4. my 4 door cupboard brimming with my clothes and bags
5. my Aussino bedsheets, especially the embroidered or exclusive ones
6. my junk - things that don't fall into any category but they are there for some reason.
7. my mirror
seven random facts about me
1. I am untidy but my mess are organized mess
2. I like sports -
3. I am most vulnerable and emotional when I am PMStic and I cry when nobody is around.
4. I am incurable romantic
5. I talk to cats
6. I hate doing household chores
7. I am terribly competitive - play to win
seven things I would like to do before I die
1. complete all the articles of faith
2. repent and don't make the same mistakes again
3. Get married and have at least 3 children - one set of twins would be nice :)
4. travel more
5. further my studies outside Singapore
6. be a good wife and mother
7. do more adventurous stuff like bungee jump, etc.
seven things I can't do
1. maths
2. split myself into 2 so that I can attend softball and remedial at the same time
3. drive
4. understand why girls can be so bitchy when I am a girl myself
5. understand why girls always give the excuse of being the weaker sex just because they fail to get things done right
6. travel during non peak period
7. remain slim without exercising
seven things I say the most
1. whatever
2. rubbish
3. you people are very mean, you know
4. okie, moving on
5. Good morning/afternoon class
6. Thank you class
7. huh?
seven celeb crushes
1. Jude Law
2. ewan mcgregor
3. The guy who played in LOTR - not orlando, Liv Tyler's lover (it is 2 in the morning, can't think)
4. Spiderman - both the character and the actor whostarred in the movie
5. Christian Bale
6. Nick in CSI Las Vegas :)
7. Brad Pitt
seven ppl who have to do this
Anybody interested can do this. I dont care for chain mails. I did this cos it was fun at first and I must finish what I started. Phew! all done.
Anyway, I had to go home after that cos it was past midnight and my very conservative parents won't sleep if I dont go home. You can't educate your child and get them exposed to all sorts of cultures, values and ideas and expect them to live by your old fashioned principles. Seriously, the least they could do is know the world I am living in. "Karaoke is a bad influence, don't you dare go karaokeing." (Roll eyes) Principal and VP was karaokeing too, dear mum and dad. Bet they would just collapse if they knew I was playing pool in a smoky lounge and was the only gal in our group of 5. Shhh...don't tell them. Sigh...my parents. Got to accept them cos they are the only set of parents I have. Conservative as they are and ridiculous it seems that at my age I have to follow a set of rules that are outmoded, I won't rebel against them. Cos I was brought up to be a good girl and I love my parents unconditionally. They have my best interest at heart even though their rules and mindset frustrate me. I grew up fine; just zany, crazy, loud, adventure seeking and far from being the domesticated, soft, obedient and typical young Malay woman that my parents aspire me to be; so they must be doing something right.
But, in the end, I am just a repressed person underneath all that calm exterior. The wild streak is yearning to get out. Perhaps one day when I could do all what I want to do, by then my spirit would have died and I become typical. I hate being typical. All my life I fight against being typical and I am just so afraid I will end up being like one of those average typical Minah Janes out there. I just want to be me but it is funny, ironic even having your parents saying when you are a child : "when you grow up, you can be whatever you want to be." You can be anything but yourself, because what you are is dictated by what one's family and society expects you to be. I am something else to everybody else, but I am seldom ever me nowadays. I am beginning to lose touch with who I am these days.
Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum ...
Okie, here are seven things that aai asked me to do, not in random order:
seven things that scare me:
1. not obeying Him
2. scary movies - incredible tales included
3. not being able to provide for my family
4. being lonely and unloved - including losing those I love
5. being seen as irresponsible and incompetent
6. losing myself
7. no security for my future
seven things I like the most
1. knowing that He is always with me
2. chocolates
3. going out with someone who I am comfy with and have the same wavelength as me. Read: opposite gender.
4. cats - they lead uncomplicated lives
5. daydreaming
6. the scent of freshly cut grass/ the forest after a rain
7. walking on dewy grass in the early morning
seven most important things in my room
1. my bed
2. my pc
3. my drawer with all my important documents
4. my 4 door cupboard brimming with my clothes and bags
5. my Aussino bedsheets, especially the embroidered or exclusive ones
6. my junk - things that don't fall into any category but they are there for some reason.
7. my mirror
seven random facts about me
1. I am untidy but my mess are organized mess
2. I like sports -
3. I am most vulnerable and emotional when I am PMStic and I cry when nobody is around.
4. I am incurable romantic
5. I talk to cats
6. I hate doing household chores
7. I am terribly competitive - play to win
seven things I would like to do before I die
1. complete all the articles of faith
2. repent and don't make the same mistakes again
3. Get married and have at least 3 children - one set of twins would be nice :)
4. travel more
5. further my studies outside Singapore
6. be a good wife and mother
7. do more adventurous stuff like bungee jump, etc.
seven things I can't do
1. maths
2. split myself into 2 so that I can attend softball and remedial at the same time
3. drive
4. understand why girls can be so bitchy when I am a girl myself
5. understand why girls always give the excuse of being the weaker sex just because they fail to get things done right
6. travel during non peak period
7. remain slim without exercising
seven things I say the most
1. whatever
2. rubbish
3. you people are very mean, you know
4. okie, moving on
5. Good morning/afternoon class
6. Thank you class
7. huh?
seven celeb crushes
1. Jude Law
2. ewan mcgregor
3. The guy who played in LOTR - not orlando, Liv Tyler's lover (it is 2 in the morning, can't think)
4. Spiderman - both the character and the actor whostarred in the movie
5. Christian Bale
6. Nick in CSI Las Vegas :)
7. Brad Pitt
seven ppl who have to do this
Anybody interested can do this. I dont care for chain mails. I did this cos it was fun at first and I must finish what I started. Phew! all done.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Big picture
Spent 5 hours in Chem lab 2 today. Invigilated the chem prac. 3 sessions worth of the same chem prac. I thought it would be the normal invigilation but when my first session started, I realize it won't be like any normal invigilation. Firstly, I have no idea what to do and secondly, I have no clue what they are asking for. The last time I stepped into a chem lab was 11 years ago. One student inquired for a conical flask and I was bewildered for a moment. What the heck is a conical flask? Lucky the lab assitants were there. Chem prac was pretty interesting. I used to hate chem prac. I dropped chem in sec 4 because of the practical.
Today, I had to do the one thing I hate most in teaching. Be the adult and be responsible when in my heart all I want to do is let my students have fun and join in with them. I had to chase my softballers out of school right after training. I forbade then from playing bball in the courts or stadium. I chased and followed the C div out of school. Seriously, i even threatened them with demerit points. Sigh... I hate being responsible in this manner.
Seriously, i see no harm in letting them stay in school. They are nice kids and I trust them. Some naughty and mischievous but they won't harm anybody. However, I do see the other side of the issue as well. Kids might get into trouble and all, parents complain, kids may be nice but they might get into accidents and who knows what else. So, while I would like to be a rebel and fight slongside my students but I do see the big picture.
Of course, I do not expect students to understand, I wasn't that understanding when I was a teenager. I did not see the rationale behind rules, I saw my teachers as old fashioned sticklers for rules, I did not see the constraints, I only saw the infinite possibilities that youth and energy can provide.
Okie, so i have to curb my inner fun loving me and be responsible. That sucks, but that is what I am paid for. Anyway, it is high time I behave like an adult instead of a teenager. Ok, at least I have to behave like a teacher in school. Dont have to be one when I am not with my students. Being responsible is just yucky.
Today, I had to do the one thing I hate most in teaching. Be the adult and be responsible when in my heart all I want to do is let my students have fun and join in with them. I had to chase my softballers out of school right after training. I forbade then from playing bball in the courts or stadium. I chased and followed the C div out of school. Seriously, i even threatened them with demerit points. Sigh... I hate being responsible in this manner.
Seriously, i see no harm in letting them stay in school. They are nice kids and I trust them. Some naughty and mischievous but they won't harm anybody. However, I do see the other side of the issue as well. Kids might get into trouble and all, parents complain, kids may be nice but they might get into accidents and who knows what else. So, while I would like to be a rebel and fight slongside my students but I do see the big picture.
Of course, I do not expect students to understand, I wasn't that understanding when I was a teenager. I did not see the rationale behind rules, I saw my teachers as old fashioned sticklers for rules, I did not see the constraints, I only saw the infinite possibilities that youth and energy can provide.
Okie, so i have to curb my inner fun loving me and be responsible. That sucks, but that is what I am paid for. Anyway, it is high time I behave like an adult instead of a teenager. Ok, at least I have to behave like a teacher in school. Dont have to be one when I am not with my students. Being responsible is just yucky.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Day of the Amazons
Su got married yesterday. Didn't go for her solemnisation cos was too sick and tired. Went for the wedding today. She looked very pretty. Mulyan looked so sweet. Very happy for them. Glad she finally found someone who can take care of her well.
3rd one in the squad to get married. And a TKAmazon baby coming in November. A girl too. 13 years later, maybe, she could be 2nd generation TKAmazon. Heh heh.
Shuling brought her 'boy' in tow. He is not bad looking. Must be pretty serious that she brought him to meet us. Too bad she had to flee or else we would have grind her for details. After the wedding, the 5 happening and gorgeous single ladies (Wanzhen, Suxian, Christine, Farhana and me) sat at Deli Bistro for desert and we had such a great time. We moaned about our jobs and how we have no social lives at all. Very unexciting lives we lead cos we are so bogged down with work.
It is refreshing to meet the squaddies after so long. Must meet again soon, perhaps during the Sept hols or at the very latest when Azian decides to pop in November. :)
3rd one in the squad to get married. And a TKAmazon baby coming in November. A girl too. 13 years later, maybe, she could be 2nd generation TKAmazon. Heh heh.
Shuling brought her 'boy' in tow. He is not bad looking. Must be pretty serious that she brought him to meet us. Too bad she had to flee or else we would have grind her for details. After the wedding, the 5 happening and gorgeous single ladies (Wanzhen, Suxian, Christine, Farhana and me) sat at Deli Bistro for desert and we had such a great time. We moaned about our jobs and how we have no social lives at all. Very unexciting lives we lead cos we are so bogged down with work.
It is refreshing to meet the squaddies after so long. Must meet again soon, perhaps during the Sept hols or at the very latest when Azian decides to pop in November. :)
Saturday, August 13, 2005
What a day!
Zombified. Tired.
Itenary for the day:
6.30: woke up
8 - 12: Pulau Ubin, nature walk at Sensory Trail
12-2: Home, Lunch Rice with sambal goreng
2-3.15: Eee Chiew's function: Had rice and all sorts of stuff.
3.30-4.45: Cousin's place, pre wedding preps- had rice and all sorts of stuff
4.45 - 7.30: Early dinner at Sofra - had Shish Kebab with Turkish lentils and rice
7.30 - 8.30: Prayers and head for home.
Gosh, it seems between 1.15 and 7, I practically did not stop eating. When I went to my cuz's place, I was already very full. But, the food looks so delicious. And my aunts and grand aunts are such great cooks, how can I miss their food? I think i can still down some more food. Maybe I should eat the mooncakes now. Or maybe I shall not be a glutton and I should stop eating. Enough eating for the day. Tmr can continue. He heehe
I told my aunties about my students and their antics at Ubin this morning. Singapore indeed is a fine city for apparently my students have never seen mosquitoes and ants. They were more preoccupied with the mozzies and ants than listening to the nature guide. And then complain, complain and complain. Sheesh. Pampered and weak. Haha haa (of course they would deny this). We had a good laugh.
I finally bought a Crumpler. Small but it is still a Crumpler. I am just too tired to write anything else. It had been a very good day.
Itenary for the day:
6.30: woke up
8 - 12: Pulau Ubin, nature walk at Sensory Trail
12-2: Home, Lunch Rice with sambal goreng
2-3.15: Eee Chiew's function: Had rice and all sorts of stuff.
3.30-4.45: Cousin's place, pre wedding preps- had rice and all sorts of stuff
4.45 - 7.30: Early dinner at Sofra - had Shish Kebab with Turkish lentils and rice
7.30 - 8.30: Prayers and head for home.
Gosh, it seems between 1.15 and 7, I practically did not stop eating. When I went to my cuz's place, I was already very full. But, the food looks so delicious. And my aunts and grand aunts are such great cooks, how can I miss their food? I think i can still down some more food. Maybe I should eat the mooncakes now. Or maybe I shall not be a glutton and I should stop eating. Enough eating for the day. Tmr can continue. He heehe
I told my aunties about my students and their antics at Ubin this morning. Singapore indeed is a fine city for apparently my students have never seen mosquitoes and ants. They were more preoccupied with the mozzies and ants than listening to the nature guide. And then complain, complain and complain. Sheesh. Pampered and weak. Haha haa (of course they would deny this). We had a good laugh.
I finally bought a Crumpler. Small but it is still a Crumpler. I am just too tired to write anything else. It had been a very good day.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Blogging - Public or private?
Just watched a Malay debate on TV. VJC vs. Madrasah Wak Tanjong. Madrasah Wak Tanjong won the debate this year. They are good, in fact all the 6 debaters were very good. The issue is about blogging and VJC argued that it is a private thing whereas Madrasah Wak Tanjong argued that it is not private.
Funny when it comes to the internet, a lot of things fall in the grey area. Blogging for instance, can be considered a private realm and yet it is not private because the public can read your blog. Juxtapose blogs with traditional diaries and you see what I mean. So, it is a grey area and new laws and policies have to be invented constantly when dealing with internet. Copyrights, censorship, hacking, peer sharing, etc.
Let's talk about blogs a bit. People use blogs for a variety of reasons: personal, commercial, political, etc. Ask for help even. It all comes down to intentions. Sarong Party Girl posted her nude pictures up to gain popularity, I suppose. A Japanese lady used her blog to ask for help in her search for her runaway child. The Chinese government has a law that do not allow Chinese citizens to use words such as Democracy - shows one the power of a blog. So a blog can be powerful.
So what am I leading to? A friend sent me a link to a blog, a very disgusting blog. I was angry, upset and disappointed after reading that blog. A Singaporean made slanderous and racial remarks about a certain race in Singapore. He made unjust and unwise accusations and presumptions about a couple of religions and religious organisations in Singapore. The remarks were very malicious. I could say he is an ignorant and immature fool, but the fact remains that his blog is still out there. He receives a lot of hate tag and comments, but, I believe that is what he wants. To create waves and be noticed. It is very worrying, because his blogs are very malicious and that if there are enough people who support him, it can incite racial tension.
His taggers, be it out of hate or support, challenge him to do something about his convictions. But, do we really want that? He has put in one of his posts that he would like to be a sniper and kill someone important. In Singapore? How to get a gun, much less a sniper gun? What if he went into NS or if he signed up to be a regular? What if he could get access to such weapons? Should we just rule out all possibilities and say that it is just ramblings of a lunatic?
So what can we do? His blog is his private thoughts but if he can cause such reactions, wouldn't it be worthwhile to notice who this guy is? Hitler was seen as rambling fool that no one liked, but he made use of opportunities that helped him rise into power as a dictator. Perhaps, we should not overlook such things. Not in this day and age. I made a formal complaint to Blogger. I hope his blog gets shut down. Meanwhile, I will monitor his blogs. If the authorities could investigate the cases of scholars who made slanderous or unkind racial remarks earlier this year, I don't see why they could not do so with this guy. I am so going to do something about this.
Funny when it comes to the internet, a lot of things fall in the grey area. Blogging for instance, can be considered a private realm and yet it is not private because the public can read your blog. Juxtapose blogs with traditional diaries and you see what I mean. So, it is a grey area and new laws and policies have to be invented constantly when dealing with internet. Copyrights, censorship, hacking, peer sharing, etc.
Let's talk about blogs a bit. People use blogs for a variety of reasons: personal, commercial, political, etc. Ask for help even. It all comes down to intentions. Sarong Party Girl posted her nude pictures up to gain popularity, I suppose. A Japanese lady used her blog to ask for help in her search for her runaway child. The Chinese government has a law that do not allow Chinese citizens to use words such as Democracy - shows one the power of a blog. So a blog can be powerful.
So what am I leading to? A friend sent me a link to a blog, a very disgusting blog. I was angry, upset and disappointed after reading that blog. A Singaporean made slanderous and racial remarks about a certain race in Singapore. He made unjust and unwise accusations and presumptions about a couple of religions and religious organisations in Singapore. The remarks were very malicious. I could say he is an ignorant and immature fool, but the fact remains that his blog is still out there. He receives a lot of hate tag and comments, but, I believe that is what he wants. To create waves and be noticed. It is very worrying, because his blogs are very malicious and that if there are enough people who support him, it can incite racial tension.
His taggers, be it out of hate or support, challenge him to do something about his convictions. But, do we really want that? He has put in one of his posts that he would like to be a sniper and kill someone important. In Singapore? How to get a gun, much less a sniper gun? What if he went into NS or if he signed up to be a regular? What if he could get access to such weapons? Should we just rule out all possibilities and say that it is just ramblings of a lunatic?
So what can we do? His blog is his private thoughts but if he can cause such reactions, wouldn't it be worthwhile to notice who this guy is? Hitler was seen as rambling fool that no one liked, but he made use of opportunities that helped him rise into power as a dictator. Perhaps, we should not overlook such things. Not in this day and age. I made a formal complaint to Blogger. I hope his blog gets shut down. Meanwhile, I will monitor his blogs. If the authorities could investigate the cases of scholars who made slanderous or unkind racial remarks earlier this year, I don't see why they could not do so with this guy. I am so going to do something about this.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Endorphins - the lack of it
My last day of MC. Went to the doctor in the early morning. Waited for 2 hours to see her and she saw me for less than 5 minutes. Just to take off my bandages and give advice and said we need to have a follow up in 6 months time. Good news is that the diagnosis shows it is not cancer. Ho hum...
Reliefed it is not cancer, yes but I can't help but be a bit blue. All of AHS was at East Coast Park and I was at SGH. I wanted to be at ECP too. I wanted to run the 2.4 and then do breakfast and then cycle/skate. I can't, however. I run the risk of sounding childish here, but I can't help how I felt. I have been looking forward to the cross country since last year. I wanted to run the 2.4 and improve on my timing. I even set goals for myself. I was aiming for silver or if I can, gold. How disappointing that i can't go. I remembered I was quite upset after the surgery when the nurse told me my next appointment was today.
The conversation went something like this: (remember, I jsut woke up from surgery. My head is still in a flux)
"ok, zarinah, ur next appointment is on the 5th, next friday."
"Cannot, have 2.4. x-country." Silence...
"But this appointment is to remove ur bandages."
"oh, but I have 2.4."
Nurse looked a bit puzzled here.
"School event, I want to run."
"You want to run?"
"Yes. So can change the appointment?"
"Cannot because the clinic is only open on friday mornings and there is no other time that u can go"
"So that means I can't run?"
"I dont think you should run 2.4. You just had a surgery. your stitches need to heal."
"But I want to run."
"you can't run."
"Oh, that means I can't run during my MC?"
"You can't." And she makes me sign a form and clearly points out the clause that says No vigorous exercise. Darn it.
Anyway, i was just not happy that people are having fun at ECP and I was not. They have no business to. I am sounding so like a spoilt brat. The inner child taking over. :)
But, after that I decided to make myself happy. But I can't decide where to go after SGH. I was toying either Suntec City or just go around Chinatown. I spent too much time mulling over it, that I got tired. So i decided to just go to Paya Lebar and drop off the overdue coupons at MCAS - DA. I got unhappier by the minute and I decided that I should go down to Singpost and buy myself stationery. Stationery shopping always makes me happy. I like new stationery, new notbooks, cute magnets and paperclips. I don't need them, but they are nice to own. :-)But Popular there was dismal. I didn't buy anything that could help me. So, I thought that I need to release endorphins into my system and one can only do that via exercise or eating chocolates (I lack exercise, i think, that's why not enuf endorphins to make me happy.). So I went to NTUC and bought myself chocolates and other kinds of junk food. So now there are endorphins in me, and I am relatively happy. I got over my disappointment. There is always next year. I still have to wait for about a week more before I can do any exercise, but I will be at school, so that won't be so bad.
I never thought I would say this, but I do miss all my students. But, I have 2 more days to enjoy and be the carefree, young and slightly reckless and bimbotic me before I turn myself into the no-nonsense, follow the rules, listen to me or else ... teacher.
Reliefed it is not cancer, yes but I can't help but be a bit blue. All of AHS was at East Coast Park and I was at SGH. I wanted to be at ECP too. I wanted to run the 2.4 and then do breakfast and then cycle/skate. I can't, however. I run the risk of sounding childish here, but I can't help how I felt. I have been looking forward to the cross country since last year. I wanted to run the 2.4 and improve on my timing. I even set goals for myself. I was aiming for silver or if I can, gold. How disappointing that i can't go. I remembered I was quite upset after the surgery when the nurse told me my next appointment was today.
The conversation went something like this: (remember, I jsut woke up from surgery. My head is still in a flux)
"ok, zarinah, ur next appointment is on the 5th, next friday."
"Cannot, have 2.4. x-country." Silence...
"But this appointment is to remove ur bandages."
"oh, but I have 2.4."
Nurse looked a bit puzzled here.
"School event, I want to run."
"You want to run?"
"Yes. So can change the appointment?"
"Cannot because the clinic is only open on friday mornings and there is no other time that u can go"
"So that means I can't run?"
"I dont think you should run 2.4. You just had a surgery. your stitches need to heal."
"But I want to run."
"you can't run."
"Oh, that means I can't run during my MC?"
"You can't." And she makes me sign a form and clearly points out the clause that says No vigorous exercise. Darn it.
Anyway, i was just not happy that people are having fun at ECP and I was not. They have no business to. I am sounding so like a spoilt brat. The inner child taking over. :)
But, after that I decided to make myself happy. But I can't decide where to go after SGH. I was toying either Suntec City or just go around Chinatown. I spent too much time mulling over it, that I got tired. So i decided to just go to Paya Lebar and drop off the overdue coupons at MCAS - DA. I got unhappier by the minute and I decided that I should go down to Singpost and buy myself stationery. Stationery shopping always makes me happy. I like new stationery, new notbooks, cute magnets and paperclips. I don't need them, but they are nice to own. :-)But Popular there was dismal. I didn't buy anything that could help me. So, I thought that I need to release endorphins into my system and one can only do that via exercise or eating chocolates (I lack exercise, i think, that's why not enuf endorphins to make me happy.). So I went to NTUC and bought myself chocolates and other kinds of junk food. So now there are endorphins in me, and I am relatively happy. I got over my disappointment. There is always next year. I still have to wait for about a week more before I can do any exercise, but I will be at school, so that won't be so bad.
I never thought I would say this, but I do miss all my students. But, I have 2 more days to enjoy and be the carefree, young and slightly reckless and bimbotic me before I turn myself into the no-nonsense, follow the rules, listen to me or else ... teacher.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Oompa Loompas
Went to school for a while today to do some admin stuff. Dodged some students. Don't want to see them yet today. Then, I went out with Yati to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. At Shaw House. Big theatre and being a Thursday afternoon, there was less than 10 of us in the entire place. It was cool. The last time that happened to me was back in NUS and we watched One Night In McCool's (RA) and that was before I turned 21.
I felt like a kid again. Watching CCF and eating free popcorn and nachos. But CCF is a fun show. Love the Oompa Loompas. Changed the story a bit, though. It was very Tim Burton. Quite funny plus the dark undertones of Willy Wonka as an unloved child. I want to work in his factory. I fell in love with the Waterfall and the meadow. oh oh, you can break out into a dance and a song when you are working. Hahaha. How cool is that? But, the movie is a tad too long and slow moving. But, I love it!
I was looking through Suxian's blog and she worte abt this theory of 'quota of words'. Let me quote her 'Apparently, men and women have a quota of words everyday, but women has a higher quota. In the olden days, men go out to work and women stay at home to look after the house. Men use up most of the quota of words at work, while women talks to no one at home. And when the men returns home, the women wanting to use their quota of words, begin talking incessantly to the men, and is deemed as nagging by men!' I found this rather interesting because she was complaining abt not talking enough. I totally agree with this theory because stuck at home means I have no one to talk to. And I was bored because I needed someone to talk to. Really. I just needed to use my quota. So i have not, and that bothered me for the past week. And I was kind of mean and naughty cos I picked on my students on MSN and I teased them mercilessly. Mercilessly, yes I did. Apologies ... I am mean, I know.
I felt like a kid again. Watching CCF and eating free popcorn and nachos. But CCF is a fun show. Love the Oompa Loompas. Changed the story a bit, though. It was very Tim Burton. Quite funny plus the dark undertones of Willy Wonka as an unloved child. I want to work in his factory. I fell in love with the Waterfall and the meadow. oh oh, you can break out into a dance and a song when you are working. Hahaha. How cool is that? But, the movie is a tad too long and slow moving. But, I love it!
I was looking through Suxian's blog and she worte abt this theory of 'quota of words'. Let me quote her 'Apparently, men and women have a quota of words everyday, but women has a higher quota. In the olden days, men go out to work and women stay at home to look after the house. Men use up most of the quota of words at work, while women talks to no one at home. And when the men returns home, the women wanting to use their quota of words, begin talking incessantly to the men, and is deemed as nagging by men!' I found this rather interesting because she was complaining abt not talking enough. I totally agree with this theory because stuck at home means I have no one to talk to. And I was bored because I needed someone to talk to. Really. I just needed to use my quota. So i have not, and that bothered me for the past week. And I was kind of mean and naughty cos I picked on my students on MSN and I teased them mercilessly. Mercilessly, yes I did. Apologies ... I am mean, I know.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
What about me?
Suxian said to me yesterday that the heading or my blog sounds depressing - Phlegmatic, Sanguine, Melancholic. Not really. It does not suppose to convey feelings. It is a statement of my personality tupe. I did a personality test over the hols and this is what I came up with. Just a bit of an explanation:
My dominant personality is Phlegmatic and less dominant ones are sanguine and melancholic. So what are these personality types all about? Just listing some of the personality traits ...
Phlegmatics are:
Low-key personality - yeah, esp to people I just met
Easygoing and relaxed - yupps, that's me
Calm, cool and collected - that's what a lot of people say abt me
Patient, well balanced - I guess so
Keep emotions hidden - Oh yeah, very true, this one
All-purpose person - I am a teacher, what do you think?
Makes a good parent - I hope to be one ;)
Doesn't get upset too easily - quite true, yeah kids, sometimes in class, it is all an act. But u never know dont u. So don't push it.
Peaceful and agreeable - "I am ok with anything"
Avoids conflicts - guilty as charged
Good under pressure - I always work best with a deadline and stress
Easy to get along with - Heey ...who am I to say that abt myself. hahaha
Good listener - Anyone has anything to say abt this one... :)
Enjoys watching people - yeah, I do. Esp when teenagers start kissing and groping in the MRT. Hey, they want to do it in public obviously they want people to watch...
Sanguines are ...:
Talkative - can be. Teachers used to write "she needs to talk less..."
Memory for colour - yeah, right on. Colours are my life.
Emotional and demonstrative - I can be a bit of a drama. Ok, ok, a lot drama.
Enthusiastic and expressive - Always the first to sign up for something new and exciting back in school. I use my hands a lot when I talk...
Cheerful and bubbling over - love cheerleading.
Curious - As a cat :)
Good on stage - class counts?
Wide eyed and innocent - I got out of this habit when I discovered feminism. But, it does resurface sometimes, esp when I want something. The bimbo comes out occassionally ... Ok a lot but i manage to hide her. Wide eyed and innocent is not a good trait in a teacher.
Always a child - Very difficult to suppress this one when I am in school.
Thrives on compliments - who doesn't?
Doesn't hold grudges - Life is too short. Live for the moment.
Melancholic
Deep and thoughtful - What is life? What is good and evil? Heaven and hell? :)
Serious and purposeful - serious when there is a purpose, so yes.
Genius prone - I like this one. A nobel prize awaits me in the future. Haha
Appreciative of beauty - yeah, man. Everything is beautiful, you just need to look for it.
Philosophical and poetic - See deep and thoughtful> I did very well in Philosophy 1102 - God and Religion, I think it's called.
Sensitive to others - ooooh yes.
Self - sacrificing - Not all the time
Conscientious - very
Idealistic - I have a lot of dreams...
That are some of my characteristics. Funny though, I believe I used to be a dominant Sanguine when I was younger but I think I had developed to become a Phlegmatic over the past 5 years or so. Strong desire to be less drama I think....
And, I am Golden - that's what my name means in Arabic.
In Russian, however, Czarina means Queen. Long live the Queen, the Golden one.
Queen Golden signing off ... too much time on her hands. :)
My dominant personality is Phlegmatic and less dominant ones are sanguine and melancholic. So what are these personality types all about? Just listing some of the personality traits ...
Phlegmatics are:
Low-key personality - yeah, esp to people I just met
Easygoing and relaxed - yupps, that's me
Calm, cool and collected - that's what a lot of people say abt me
Patient, well balanced - I guess so
Keep emotions hidden - Oh yeah, very true, this one
All-purpose person - I am a teacher, what do you think?
Makes a good parent - I hope to be one ;)
Doesn't get upset too easily - quite true, yeah kids, sometimes in class, it is all an act. But u never know dont u. So don't push it.
Peaceful and agreeable - "I am ok with anything"
Avoids conflicts - guilty as charged
Good under pressure - I always work best with a deadline and stress
Easy to get along with - Heey ...who am I to say that abt myself. hahaha
Good listener - Anyone has anything to say abt this one... :)
Enjoys watching people - yeah, I do. Esp when teenagers start kissing and groping in the MRT. Hey, they want to do it in public obviously they want people to watch...
Sanguines are ...:
Talkative - can be. Teachers used to write "she needs to talk less..."
Memory for colour - yeah, right on. Colours are my life.
Emotional and demonstrative - I can be a bit of a drama. Ok, ok, a lot drama.
Enthusiastic and expressive - Always the first to sign up for something new and exciting back in school. I use my hands a lot when I talk...
Cheerful and bubbling over - love cheerleading.
Curious - As a cat :)
Good on stage - class counts?
Wide eyed and innocent - I got out of this habit when I discovered feminism. But, it does resurface sometimes, esp when I want something. The bimbo comes out occassionally ... Ok a lot but i manage to hide her. Wide eyed and innocent is not a good trait in a teacher.
Always a child - Very difficult to suppress this one when I am in school.
Thrives on compliments - who doesn't?
Doesn't hold grudges - Life is too short. Live for the moment.
Melancholic
Deep and thoughtful - What is life? What is good and evil? Heaven and hell? :)
Serious and purposeful - serious when there is a purpose, so yes.
Genius prone - I like this one. A nobel prize awaits me in the future. Haha
Appreciative of beauty - yeah, man. Everything is beautiful, you just need to look for it.
Philosophical and poetic - See deep and thoughtful> I did very well in Philosophy 1102 - God and Religion, I think it's called.
Sensitive to others - ooooh yes.
Self - sacrificing - Not all the time
Conscientious - very
Idealistic - I have a lot of dreams...
That are some of my characteristics. Funny though, I believe I used to be a dominant Sanguine when I was younger but I think I had developed to become a Phlegmatic over the past 5 years or so. Strong desire to be less drama I think....
And, I am Golden - that's what my name means in Arabic.
In Russian, however, Czarina means Queen. Long live the Queen, the Golden one.
Queen Golden signing off ... too much time on her hands. :)
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Pictures
Found pictures of my river rafting experience. It is fun. If anyone wants to go, I recommend it. :)
These are my friends I went with to Sungai Tampak, Perak. Nurul, NAdz, Azlee, Andy, Ruf, Myself, Ruf's sis (can't seem to remember her name) and Nor.
This is us being gung ho before the actually rafting. We had to carry our own rafts to the river below.
Stuck at a rapid.
The end of the rafting. All in one piece. Happy and grinning. 10km of hard paddling. Arms sore.
My certificate. Ain't that cool. :)
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Bored
So bored. I thought I could enjoy the MCs but this is sheer boredom. What good is a break from school when I can't do anything? This is so sad. A Saturday and I spent my day watching TV. At least LOST is good. But after 5 hours of the series, it is just too much tv. I need to run, play ball, skate or do something. Something that gets the heart pumping and adrenalin rushing. I know, I know, no vigorous exercise, yadda, yadda yadda...
What can a gal do? There is only so much tv watching and book reading I can do before I permanantly get lost in the world of imagination and escapism. Even then, I get a headache when I leave reality behind far too long. Sleep, too much. I am tired of sleeping. I get daymares and it just means that it is not a proper sleep and I wake up grouchy and moody. Then at night, I can't sleep.
Sheesh! so much energy but can't use it. Everybody's asleep in the house. It is so quiet. EEEEKS! I just want to scream. Why can't they give me drugs or something that makes me drowsy and forces me to sleep most of the time. At least they can be sure I won't do anything vigorous. I am going crazy. How long does it take for stitches to get healed anyway. I am sure it is healed already. Sigh, double sigh, triple sigh...this is torture.
Maybe I should plan what I am going to do for the rest of the year. I read in Shape magazine that if the ring finger is longer than the index finger, it means that one is a better driver. This is due to the level of testosterone that one has at birth...or something along that line. Well, my ring fingers are longer than my index fingers. Maybe that should renew my faith to take up driving sometime at the end of the year. That would make a whole lot of people happy. Why they bother about me and driving, I am not too sure. But, I highly doubt that i will take up driving. I will just panic on the road or something and plus I do so enjoy being driven.
Oh god, I am just rambling on about unrelated stuff. This is majorly boring. It is times like this that I am starting to think that my aunts do have a point. It is time I find me a man. At least I have someone to talk to when I am bored, angry, moody or whatever. Okie, this is X rated for all my students. R(A) 21. So scoot, no more reading. Go on, read and I will make your life miserable. Last warning....Oh heck... this is my space. I have to get back to the dating scene soon. Oh help, that would not be so easy. Malay men are just so ... so .. so ... what's the word, oh yeah, typical and boring. Of course, Sohabahs excluded. :) Typically boring. What happened to vision-mission men? They are not interested in marriage and I think they are not interested in malay gals. Ay, that's the rub. A string of family weddings coming up pretty soon. My cousins are marrying gals who are younger than me. A younger gal cousin is getting married in December. Nagging aunts galore. Heehhee. At least they are concerned, adorable aunts. :) Hah! maybe I could spend the rest of my medical leave planning on how to meet guys. That would be a blast! NOT! :/
Maybe I should just break the rules and go skating....
What can a gal do? There is only so much tv watching and book reading I can do before I permanantly get lost in the world of imagination and escapism. Even then, I get a headache when I leave reality behind far too long. Sleep, too much. I am tired of sleeping. I get daymares and it just means that it is not a proper sleep and I wake up grouchy and moody. Then at night, I can't sleep.
Sheesh! so much energy but can't use it. Everybody's asleep in the house. It is so quiet. EEEEKS! I just want to scream. Why can't they give me drugs or something that makes me drowsy and forces me to sleep most of the time. At least they can be sure I won't do anything vigorous. I am going crazy. How long does it take for stitches to get healed anyway. I am sure it is healed already. Sigh, double sigh, triple sigh...this is torture.
Maybe I should plan what I am going to do for the rest of the year. I read in Shape magazine that if the ring finger is longer than the index finger, it means that one is a better driver. This is due to the level of testosterone that one has at birth...or something along that line. Well, my ring fingers are longer than my index fingers. Maybe that should renew my faith to take up driving sometime at the end of the year. That would make a whole lot of people happy. Why they bother about me and driving, I am not too sure. But, I highly doubt that i will take up driving. I will just panic on the road or something and plus I do so enjoy being driven.
Oh god, I am just rambling on about unrelated stuff. This is majorly boring. It is times like this that I am starting to think that my aunts do have a point. It is time I find me a man. At least I have someone to talk to when I am bored, angry, moody or whatever. Okie, this is X rated for all my students. R(A) 21. So scoot, no more reading. Go on, read and I will make your life miserable. Last warning....Oh heck... this is my space. I have to get back to the dating scene soon. Oh help, that would not be so easy. Malay men are just so ... so .. so ... what's the word, oh yeah, typical and boring. Of course, Sohabahs excluded. :) Typically boring. What happened to vision-mission men? They are not interested in marriage and I think they are not interested in malay gals. Ay, that's the rub. A string of family weddings coming up pretty soon. My cousins are marrying gals who are younger than me. A younger gal cousin is getting married in December. Nagging aunts galore. Heehhee. At least they are concerned, adorable aunts. :) Hah! maybe I could spend the rest of my medical leave planning on how to meet guys. That would be a blast! NOT! :/
Maybe I should just break the rules and go skating....
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