Spent 5 hours in Chem lab 2 today. Invigilated the chem prac. 3 sessions worth of the same chem prac. I thought it would be the normal invigilation but when my first session started, I realize it won't be like any normal invigilation. Firstly, I have no idea what to do and secondly, I have no clue what they are asking for. The last time I stepped into a chem lab was 11 years ago. One student inquired for a conical flask and I was bewildered for a moment. What the heck is a conical flask? Lucky the lab assitants were there. Chem prac was pretty interesting. I used to hate chem prac. I dropped chem in sec 4 because of the practical.
Today, I had to do the one thing I hate most in teaching. Be the adult and be responsible when in my heart all I want to do is let my students have fun and join in with them. I had to chase my softballers out of school right after training. I forbade then from playing bball in the courts or stadium. I chased and followed the C div out of school. Seriously, i even threatened them with demerit points. Sigh... I hate being responsible in this manner.
Seriously, i see no harm in letting them stay in school. They are nice kids and I trust them. Some naughty and mischievous but they won't harm anybody. However, I do see the other side of the issue as well. Kids might get into trouble and all, parents complain, kids may be nice but they might get into accidents and who knows what else. So, while I would like to be a rebel and fight slongside my students but I do see the big picture.
Of course, I do not expect students to understand, I wasn't that understanding when I was a teenager. I did not see the rationale behind rules, I saw my teachers as old fashioned sticklers for rules, I did not see the constraints, I only saw the infinite possibilities that youth and energy can provide.
Okie, so i have to curb my inner fun loving me and be responsible. That sucks, but that is what I am paid for. Anyway, it is high time I behave like an adult instead of a teenager. Ok, at least I have to behave like a teacher in school. Dont have to be one when I am not with my students. Being responsible is just yucky.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Day of the Amazons
Su got married yesterday. Didn't go for her solemnisation cos was too sick and tired. Went for the wedding today. She looked very pretty. Mulyan looked so sweet. Very happy for them. Glad she finally found someone who can take care of her well.
3rd one in the squad to get married. And a TKAmazon baby coming in November. A girl too. 13 years later, maybe, she could be 2nd generation TKAmazon. Heh heh.
Shuling brought her 'boy' in tow. He is not bad looking. Must be pretty serious that she brought him to meet us. Too bad she had to flee or else we would have grind her for details. After the wedding, the 5 happening and gorgeous single ladies (Wanzhen, Suxian, Christine, Farhana and me) sat at Deli Bistro for desert and we had such a great time. We moaned about our jobs and how we have no social lives at all. Very unexciting lives we lead cos we are so bogged down with work.
It is refreshing to meet the squaddies after so long. Must meet again soon, perhaps during the Sept hols or at the very latest when Azian decides to pop in November. :)
3rd one in the squad to get married. And a TKAmazon baby coming in November. A girl too. 13 years later, maybe, she could be 2nd generation TKAmazon. Heh heh.
Shuling brought her 'boy' in tow. He is not bad looking. Must be pretty serious that she brought him to meet us. Too bad she had to flee or else we would have grind her for details. After the wedding, the 5 happening and gorgeous single ladies (Wanzhen, Suxian, Christine, Farhana and me) sat at Deli Bistro for desert and we had such a great time. We moaned about our jobs and how we have no social lives at all. Very unexciting lives we lead cos we are so bogged down with work.
It is refreshing to meet the squaddies after so long. Must meet again soon, perhaps during the Sept hols or at the very latest when Azian decides to pop in November. :)
Saturday, August 13, 2005
What a day!
Zombified. Tired.
Itenary for the day:
6.30: woke up
8 - 12: Pulau Ubin, nature walk at Sensory Trail
12-2: Home, Lunch Rice with sambal goreng
2-3.15: Eee Chiew's function: Had rice and all sorts of stuff.
3.30-4.45: Cousin's place, pre wedding preps- had rice and all sorts of stuff
4.45 - 7.30: Early dinner at Sofra - had Shish Kebab with Turkish lentils and rice
7.30 - 8.30: Prayers and head for home.
Gosh, it seems between 1.15 and 7, I practically did not stop eating. When I went to my cuz's place, I was already very full. But, the food looks so delicious. And my aunts and grand aunts are such great cooks, how can I miss their food? I think i can still down some more food. Maybe I should eat the mooncakes now. Or maybe I shall not be a glutton and I should stop eating. Enough eating for the day. Tmr can continue. He heehe
I told my aunties about my students and their antics at Ubin this morning. Singapore indeed is a fine city for apparently my students have never seen mosquitoes and ants. They were more preoccupied with the mozzies and ants than listening to the nature guide. And then complain, complain and complain. Sheesh. Pampered and weak. Haha haa (of course they would deny this). We had a good laugh.
I finally bought a Crumpler. Small but it is still a Crumpler. I am just too tired to write anything else. It had been a very good day.
Itenary for the day:
6.30: woke up
8 - 12: Pulau Ubin, nature walk at Sensory Trail
12-2: Home, Lunch Rice with sambal goreng
2-3.15: Eee Chiew's function: Had rice and all sorts of stuff.
3.30-4.45: Cousin's place, pre wedding preps- had rice and all sorts of stuff
4.45 - 7.30: Early dinner at Sofra - had Shish Kebab with Turkish lentils and rice
7.30 - 8.30: Prayers and head for home.
Gosh, it seems between 1.15 and 7, I practically did not stop eating. When I went to my cuz's place, I was already very full. But, the food looks so delicious. And my aunts and grand aunts are such great cooks, how can I miss their food? I think i can still down some more food. Maybe I should eat the mooncakes now. Or maybe I shall not be a glutton and I should stop eating. Enough eating for the day. Tmr can continue. He heehe
I told my aunties about my students and their antics at Ubin this morning. Singapore indeed is a fine city for apparently my students have never seen mosquitoes and ants. They were more preoccupied with the mozzies and ants than listening to the nature guide. And then complain, complain and complain. Sheesh. Pampered and weak. Haha haa (of course they would deny this). We had a good laugh.
I finally bought a Crumpler. Small but it is still a Crumpler. I am just too tired to write anything else. It had been a very good day.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Blogging - Public or private?
Just watched a Malay debate on TV. VJC vs. Madrasah Wak Tanjong. Madrasah Wak Tanjong won the debate this year. They are good, in fact all the 6 debaters were very good. The issue is about blogging and VJC argued that it is a private thing whereas Madrasah Wak Tanjong argued that it is not private.
Funny when it comes to the internet, a lot of things fall in the grey area. Blogging for instance, can be considered a private realm and yet it is not private because the public can read your blog. Juxtapose blogs with traditional diaries and you see what I mean. So, it is a grey area and new laws and policies have to be invented constantly when dealing with internet. Copyrights, censorship, hacking, peer sharing, etc.
Let's talk about blogs a bit. People use blogs for a variety of reasons: personal, commercial, political, etc. Ask for help even. It all comes down to intentions. Sarong Party Girl posted her nude pictures up to gain popularity, I suppose. A Japanese lady used her blog to ask for help in her search for her runaway child. The Chinese government has a law that do not allow Chinese citizens to use words such as Democracy - shows one the power of a blog. So a blog can be powerful.
So what am I leading to? A friend sent me a link to a blog, a very disgusting blog. I was angry, upset and disappointed after reading that blog. A Singaporean made slanderous and racial remarks about a certain race in Singapore. He made unjust and unwise accusations and presumptions about a couple of religions and religious organisations in Singapore. The remarks were very malicious. I could say he is an ignorant and immature fool, but the fact remains that his blog is still out there. He receives a lot of hate tag and comments, but, I believe that is what he wants. To create waves and be noticed. It is very worrying, because his blogs are very malicious and that if there are enough people who support him, it can incite racial tension.
His taggers, be it out of hate or support, challenge him to do something about his convictions. But, do we really want that? He has put in one of his posts that he would like to be a sniper and kill someone important. In Singapore? How to get a gun, much less a sniper gun? What if he went into NS or if he signed up to be a regular? What if he could get access to such weapons? Should we just rule out all possibilities and say that it is just ramblings of a lunatic?
So what can we do? His blog is his private thoughts but if he can cause such reactions, wouldn't it be worthwhile to notice who this guy is? Hitler was seen as rambling fool that no one liked, but he made use of opportunities that helped him rise into power as a dictator. Perhaps, we should not overlook such things. Not in this day and age. I made a formal complaint to Blogger. I hope his blog gets shut down. Meanwhile, I will monitor his blogs. If the authorities could investigate the cases of scholars who made slanderous or unkind racial remarks earlier this year, I don't see why they could not do so with this guy. I am so going to do something about this.
Funny when it comes to the internet, a lot of things fall in the grey area. Blogging for instance, can be considered a private realm and yet it is not private because the public can read your blog. Juxtapose blogs with traditional diaries and you see what I mean. So, it is a grey area and new laws and policies have to be invented constantly when dealing with internet. Copyrights, censorship, hacking, peer sharing, etc.
Let's talk about blogs a bit. People use blogs for a variety of reasons: personal, commercial, political, etc. Ask for help even. It all comes down to intentions. Sarong Party Girl posted her nude pictures up to gain popularity, I suppose. A Japanese lady used her blog to ask for help in her search for her runaway child. The Chinese government has a law that do not allow Chinese citizens to use words such as Democracy - shows one the power of a blog. So a blog can be powerful.
So what am I leading to? A friend sent me a link to a blog, a very disgusting blog. I was angry, upset and disappointed after reading that blog. A Singaporean made slanderous and racial remarks about a certain race in Singapore. He made unjust and unwise accusations and presumptions about a couple of religions and religious organisations in Singapore. The remarks were very malicious. I could say he is an ignorant and immature fool, but the fact remains that his blog is still out there. He receives a lot of hate tag and comments, but, I believe that is what he wants. To create waves and be noticed. It is very worrying, because his blogs are very malicious and that if there are enough people who support him, it can incite racial tension.
His taggers, be it out of hate or support, challenge him to do something about his convictions. But, do we really want that? He has put in one of his posts that he would like to be a sniper and kill someone important. In Singapore? How to get a gun, much less a sniper gun? What if he went into NS or if he signed up to be a regular? What if he could get access to such weapons? Should we just rule out all possibilities and say that it is just ramblings of a lunatic?
So what can we do? His blog is his private thoughts but if he can cause such reactions, wouldn't it be worthwhile to notice who this guy is? Hitler was seen as rambling fool that no one liked, but he made use of opportunities that helped him rise into power as a dictator. Perhaps, we should not overlook such things. Not in this day and age. I made a formal complaint to Blogger. I hope his blog gets shut down. Meanwhile, I will monitor his blogs. If the authorities could investigate the cases of scholars who made slanderous or unkind racial remarks earlier this year, I don't see why they could not do so with this guy. I am so going to do something about this.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Endorphins - the lack of it
My last day of MC. Went to the doctor in the early morning. Waited for 2 hours to see her and she saw me for less than 5 minutes. Just to take off my bandages and give advice and said we need to have a follow up in 6 months time. Good news is that the diagnosis shows it is not cancer. Ho hum...
Reliefed it is not cancer, yes but I can't help but be a bit blue. All of AHS was at East Coast Park and I was at SGH. I wanted to be at ECP too. I wanted to run the 2.4 and then do breakfast and then cycle/skate. I can't, however. I run the risk of sounding childish here, but I can't help how I felt. I have been looking forward to the cross country since last year. I wanted to run the 2.4 and improve on my timing. I even set goals for myself. I was aiming for silver or if I can, gold. How disappointing that i can't go. I remembered I was quite upset after the surgery when the nurse told me my next appointment was today.
The conversation went something like this: (remember, I jsut woke up from surgery. My head is still in a flux)
"ok, zarinah, ur next appointment is on the 5th, next friday."
"Cannot, have 2.4. x-country." Silence...
"But this appointment is to remove ur bandages."
"oh, but I have 2.4."
Nurse looked a bit puzzled here.
"School event, I want to run."
"You want to run?"
"Yes. So can change the appointment?"
"Cannot because the clinic is only open on friday mornings and there is no other time that u can go"
"So that means I can't run?"
"I dont think you should run 2.4. You just had a surgery. your stitches need to heal."
"But I want to run."
"you can't run."
"Oh, that means I can't run during my MC?"
"You can't." And she makes me sign a form and clearly points out the clause that says No vigorous exercise. Darn it.
Anyway, i was just not happy that people are having fun at ECP and I was not. They have no business to. I am sounding so like a spoilt brat. The inner child taking over. :)
But, after that I decided to make myself happy. But I can't decide where to go after SGH. I was toying either Suntec City or just go around Chinatown. I spent too much time mulling over it, that I got tired. So i decided to just go to Paya Lebar and drop off the overdue coupons at MCAS - DA. I got unhappier by the minute and I decided that I should go down to Singpost and buy myself stationery. Stationery shopping always makes me happy. I like new stationery, new notbooks, cute magnets and paperclips. I don't need them, but they are nice to own. :-)But Popular there was dismal. I didn't buy anything that could help me. So, I thought that I need to release endorphins into my system and one can only do that via exercise or eating chocolates (I lack exercise, i think, that's why not enuf endorphins to make me happy.). So I went to NTUC and bought myself chocolates and other kinds of junk food. So now there are endorphins in me, and I am relatively happy. I got over my disappointment. There is always next year. I still have to wait for about a week more before I can do any exercise, but I will be at school, so that won't be so bad.
I never thought I would say this, but I do miss all my students. But, I have 2 more days to enjoy and be the carefree, young and slightly reckless and bimbotic me before I turn myself into the no-nonsense, follow the rules, listen to me or else ... teacher.
Reliefed it is not cancer, yes but I can't help but be a bit blue. All of AHS was at East Coast Park and I was at SGH. I wanted to be at ECP too. I wanted to run the 2.4 and then do breakfast and then cycle/skate. I can't, however. I run the risk of sounding childish here, but I can't help how I felt. I have been looking forward to the cross country since last year. I wanted to run the 2.4 and improve on my timing. I even set goals for myself. I was aiming for silver or if I can, gold. How disappointing that i can't go. I remembered I was quite upset after the surgery when the nurse told me my next appointment was today.
The conversation went something like this: (remember, I jsut woke up from surgery. My head is still in a flux)
"ok, zarinah, ur next appointment is on the 5th, next friday."
"Cannot, have 2.4. x-country." Silence...
"But this appointment is to remove ur bandages."
"oh, but I have 2.4."
Nurse looked a bit puzzled here.
"School event, I want to run."
"You want to run?"
"Yes. So can change the appointment?"
"Cannot because the clinic is only open on friday mornings and there is no other time that u can go"
"So that means I can't run?"
"I dont think you should run 2.4. You just had a surgery. your stitches need to heal."
"But I want to run."
"you can't run."
"Oh, that means I can't run during my MC?"
"You can't." And she makes me sign a form and clearly points out the clause that says No vigorous exercise. Darn it.
Anyway, i was just not happy that people are having fun at ECP and I was not. They have no business to. I am sounding so like a spoilt brat. The inner child taking over. :)
But, after that I decided to make myself happy. But I can't decide where to go after SGH. I was toying either Suntec City or just go around Chinatown. I spent too much time mulling over it, that I got tired. So i decided to just go to Paya Lebar and drop off the overdue coupons at MCAS - DA. I got unhappier by the minute and I decided that I should go down to Singpost and buy myself stationery. Stationery shopping always makes me happy. I like new stationery, new notbooks, cute magnets and paperclips. I don't need them, but they are nice to own. :-)But Popular there was dismal. I didn't buy anything that could help me. So, I thought that I need to release endorphins into my system and one can only do that via exercise or eating chocolates (I lack exercise, i think, that's why not enuf endorphins to make me happy.). So I went to NTUC and bought myself chocolates and other kinds of junk food. So now there are endorphins in me, and I am relatively happy. I got over my disappointment. There is always next year. I still have to wait for about a week more before I can do any exercise, but I will be at school, so that won't be so bad.
I never thought I would say this, but I do miss all my students. But, I have 2 more days to enjoy and be the carefree, young and slightly reckless and bimbotic me before I turn myself into the no-nonsense, follow the rules, listen to me or else ... teacher.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Oompa Loompas
Went to school for a while today to do some admin stuff. Dodged some students. Don't want to see them yet today. Then, I went out with Yati to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. At Shaw House. Big theatre and being a Thursday afternoon, there was less than 10 of us in the entire place. It was cool. The last time that happened to me was back in NUS and we watched One Night In McCool's (RA) and that was before I turned 21.
I felt like a kid again. Watching CCF and eating free popcorn and nachos. But CCF is a fun show. Love the Oompa Loompas. Changed the story a bit, though. It was very Tim Burton. Quite funny plus the dark undertones of Willy Wonka as an unloved child. I want to work in his factory. I fell in love with the Waterfall and the meadow. oh oh, you can break out into a dance and a song when you are working. Hahaha. How cool is that? But, the movie is a tad too long and slow moving. But, I love it!
I was looking through Suxian's blog and she worte abt this theory of 'quota of words'. Let me quote her 'Apparently, men and women have a quota of words everyday, but women has a higher quota. In the olden days, men go out to work and women stay at home to look after the house. Men use up most of the quota of words at work, while women talks to no one at home. And when the men returns home, the women wanting to use their quota of words, begin talking incessantly to the men, and is deemed as nagging by men!' I found this rather interesting because she was complaining abt not talking enough. I totally agree with this theory because stuck at home means I have no one to talk to. And I was bored because I needed someone to talk to. Really. I just needed to use my quota. So i have not, and that bothered me for the past week. And I was kind of mean and naughty cos I picked on my students on MSN and I teased them mercilessly. Mercilessly, yes I did. Apologies ... I am mean, I know.
I felt like a kid again. Watching CCF and eating free popcorn and nachos. But CCF is a fun show. Love the Oompa Loompas. Changed the story a bit, though. It was very Tim Burton. Quite funny plus the dark undertones of Willy Wonka as an unloved child. I want to work in his factory. I fell in love with the Waterfall and the meadow. oh oh, you can break out into a dance and a song when you are working. Hahaha. How cool is that? But, the movie is a tad too long and slow moving. But, I love it!
I was looking through Suxian's blog and she worte abt this theory of 'quota of words'. Let me quote her 'Apparently, men and women have a quota of words everyday, but women has a higher quota. In the olden days, men go out to work and women stay at home to look after the house. Men use up most of the quota of words at work, while women talks to no one at home. And when the men returns home, the women wanting to use their quota of words, begin talking incessantly to the men, and is deemed as nagging by men!' I found this rather interesting because she was complaining abt not talking enough. I totally agree with this theory because stuck at home means I have no one to talk to. And I was bored because I needed someone to talk to. Really. I just needed to use my quota. So i have not, and that bothered me for the past week. And I was kind of mean and naughty cos I picked on my students on MSN and I teased them mercilessly. Mercilessly, yes I did. Apologies ... I am mean, I know.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
What about me?
Suxian said to me yesterday that the heading or my blog sounds depressing - Phlegmatic, Sanguine, Melancholic. Not really. It does not suppose to convey feelings. It is a statement of my personality tupe. I did a personality test over the hols and this is what I came up with. Just a bit of an explanation:
My dominant personality is Phlegmatic and less dominant ones are sanguine and melancholic. So what are these personality types all about? Just listing some of the personality traits ...
Phlegmatics are:
Low-key personality - yeah, esp to people I just met
Easygoing and relaxed - yupps, that's me
Calm, cool and collected - that's what a lot of people say abt me
Patient, well balanced - I guess so
Keep emotions hidden - Oh yeah, very true, this one
All-purpose person - I am a teacher, what do you think?
Makes a good parent - I hope to be one ;)
Doesn't get upset too easily - quite true, yeah kids, sometimes in class, it is all an act. But u never know dont u. So don't push it.
Peaceful and agreeable - "I am ok with anything"
Avoids conflicts - guilty as charged
Good under pressure - I always work best with a deadline and stress
Easy to get along with - Heey ...who am I to say that abt myself. hahaha
Good listener - Anyone has anything to say abt this one... :)
Enjoys watching people - yeah, I do. Esp when teenagers start kissing and groping in the MRT. Hey, they want to do it in public obviously they want people to watch...
Sanguines are ...:
Talkative - can be. Teachers used to write "she needs to talk less..."
Memory for colour - yeah, right on. Colours are my life.
Emotional and demonstrative - I can be a bit of a drama. Ok, ok, a lot drama.
Enthusiastic and expressive - Always the first to sign up for something new and exciting back in school. I use my hands a lot when I talk...
Cheerful and bubbling over - love cheerleading.
Curious - As a cat :)
Good on stage - class counts?
Wide eyed and innocent - I got out of this habit when I discovered feminism. But, it does resurface sometimes, esp when I want something. The bimbo comes out occassionally ... Ok a lot but i manage to hide her. Wide eyed and innocent is not a good trait in a teacher.
Always a child - Very difficult to suppress this one when I am in school.
Thrives on compliments - who doesn't?
Doesn't hold grudges - Life is too short. Live for the moment.
Melancholic
Deep and thoughtful - What is life? What is good and evil? Heaven and hell? :)
Serious and purposeful - serious when there is a purpose, so yes.
Genius prone - I like this one. A nobel prize awaits me in the future. Haha
Appreciative of beauty - yeah, man. Everything is beautiful, you just need to look for it.
Philosophical and poetic - See deep and thoughtful> I did very well in Philosophy 1102 - God and Religion, I think it's called.
Sensitive to others - ooooh yes.
Self - sacrificing - Not all the time
Conscientious - very
Idealistic - I have a lot of dreams...
That are some of my characteristics. Funny though, I believe I used to be a dominant Sanguine when I was younger but I think I had developed to become a Phlegmatic over the past 5 years or so. Strong desire to be less drama I think....
And, I am Golden - that's what my name means in Arabic.
In Russian, however, Czarina means Queen. Long live the Queen, the Golden one.
Queen Golden signing off ... too much time on her hands. :)
My dominant personality is Phlegmatic and less dominant ones are sanguine and melancholic. So what are these personality types all about? Just listing some of the personality traits ...
Phlegmatics are:
Low-key personality - yeah, esp to people I just met
Easygoing and relaxed - yupps, that's me
Calm, cool and collected - that's what a lot of people say abt me
Patient, well balanced - I guess so
Keep emotions hidden - Oh yeah, very true, this one
All-purpose person - I am a teacher, what do you think?
Makes a good parent - I hope to be one ;)
Doesn't get upset too easily - quite true, yeah kids, sometimes in class, it is all an act. But u never know dont u. So don't push it.
Peaceful and agreeable - "I am ok with anything"
Avoids conflicts - guilty as charged
Good under pressure - I always work best with a deadline and stress
Easy to get along with - Heey ...who am I to say that abt myself. hahaha
Good listener - Anyone has anything to say abt this one... :)
Enjoys watching people - yeah, I do. Esp when teenagers start kissing and groping in the MRT. Hey, they want to do it in public obviously they want people to watch...
Sanguines are ...:
Talkative - can be. Teachers used to write "she needs to talk less..."
Memory for colour - yeah, right on. Colours are my life.
Emotional and demonstrative - I can be a bit of a drama. Ok, ok, a lot drama.
Enthusiastic and expressive - Always the first to sign up for something new and exciting back in school. I use my hands a lot when I talk...
Cheerful and bubbling over - love cheerleading.
Curious - As a cat :)
Good on stage - class counts?
Wide eyed and innocent - I got out of this habit when I discovered feminism. But, it does resurface sometimes, esp when I want something. The bimbo comes out occassionally ... Ok a lot but i manage to hide her. Wide eyed and innocent is not a good trait in a teacher.
Always a child - Very difficult to suppress this one when I am in school.
Thrives on compliments - who doesn't?
Doesn't hold grudges - Life is too short. Live for the moment.
Melancholic
Deep and thoughtful - What is life? What is good and evil? Heaven and hell? :)
Serious and purposeful - serious when there is a purpose, so yes.
Genius prone - I like this one. A nobel prize awaits me in the future. Haha
Appreciative of beauty - yeah, man. Everything is beautiful, you just need to look for it.
Philosophical and poetic - See deep and thoughtful> I did very well in Philosophy 1102 - God and Religion, I think it's called.
Sensitive to others - ooooh yes.
Self - sacrificing - Not all the time
Conscientious - very
Idealistic - I have a lot of dreams...
That are some of my characteristics. Funny though, I believe I used to be a dominant Sanguine when I was younger but I think I had developed to become a Phlegmatic over the past 5 years or so. Strong desire to be less drama I think....
And, I am Golden - that's what my name means in Arabic.
In Russian, however, Czarina means Queen. Long live the Queen, the Golden one.
Queen Golden signing off ... too much time on her hands. :)
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