Endorphins - the lack of it

My last day of MC. Went to the doctor in the early morning. Waited for 2 hours to see her and she saw me for less than 5 minutes. Just to take off my bandages and give advice and said we need to have a follow up in 6 months time. Good news is that the diagnosis shows it is not cancer. Ho hum...

Reliefed it is not cancer, yes but I can't help but be a bit blue. All of AHS was at East Coast Park and I was at SGH. I wanted to be at ECP too. I wanted to run the 2.4 and then do breakfast and then cycle/skate. I can't, however. I run the risk of sounding childish here, but I can't help how I felt. I have been looking forward to the cross country since last year. I wanted to run the 2.4 and improve on my timing. I even set goals for myself. I was aiming for silver or if I can, gold. How disappointing that i can't go. I remembered I was quite upset after the surgery when the nurse told me my next appointment was today.

The conversation went something like this: (remember, I jsut woke up from surgery. My head is still in a flux)
"ok, zarinah, ur next appointment is on the 5th, next friday."
"Cannot, have 2.4. x-country." Silence...
"But this appointment is to remove ur bandages."
"oh, but I have 2.4."
Nurse looked a bit puzzled here.
"School event, I want to run."
"You want to run?"
"Yes. So can change the appointment?"
"Cannot because the clinic is only open on friday mornings and there is no other time that u can go"
"So that means I can't run?"
"I dont think you should run 2.4. You just had a surgery. your stitches need to heal."
"But I want to run."
"you can't run."
"Oh, that means I can't run during my MC?"
"You can't." And she makes me sign a form and clearly points out the clause that says No vigorous exercise. Darn it.

Anyway, i was just not happy that people are having fun at ECP and I was not. They have no business to. I am sounding so like a spoilt brat. The inner child taking over. :)

But, after that I decided to make myself happy. But I can't decide where to go after SGH. I was toying either Suntec City or just go around Chinatown. I spent too much time mulling over it, that I got tired. So i decided to just go to Paya Lebar and drop off the overdue coupons at MCAS - DA. I got unhappier by the minute and I decided that I should go down to Singpost and buy myself stationery. Stationery shopping always makes me happy. I like new stationery, new notbooks, cute magnets and paperclips. I don't need them, but they are nice to own. :-)But Popular there was dismal. I didn't buy anything that could help me. So, I thought that I need to release endorphins into my system and one can only do that via exercise or eating chocolates (I lack exercise, i think, that's why not enuf endorphins to make me happy.). So I went to NTUC and bought myself chocolates and other kinds of junk food. So now there are endorphins in me, and I am relatively happy. I got over my disappointment. There is always next year. I still have to wait for about a week more before I can do any exercise, but I will be at school, so that won't be so bad.

I never thought I would say this, but I do miss all my students. But, I have 2 more days to enjoy and be the carefree, young and slightly reckless and bimbotic me before I turn myself into the no-nonsense, follow the rules, listen to me or else ... teacher.