I have found the cure to imsomnia: marking! It is true. Seriously folks, if you have insomnia, just go to any one of your teacher friends and offer them your help. You not only benefit yourself by getting the well deserved sleep you need but you are also reliefing the burden of your teacher friends. However, to get the best cure, you must not just get any subjects for marking. Choose, for instance, subjects like English and Humanities. These are the best cures. The repetitive essays, structured and source based answers will put you to sleep instantly. If not, I guarantee by the 15th or 20th script, you will be in dreamland. Trust me, I have felt the power of marking. I had enough of it that by looking at one exam script I will feel sleepy. So, step right up for your cures now.
(FYI: Next post will be after I finish end of year exam marking and perhaps when O levels have started.)
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Are we tolerant enough?
Went into sleep mode immediately upon reaching home. Very tired yesterday. Slept a good 12 hours and I was awoken by this news:
YET another blogger was hauled to court yesterday for posting allegedly racist remarks online - the third person charged under the Sedition Act this week. Seventeen-year-old private school student Gan Huai Shi is accused of promoting ill will and hostility among different races through comments on his blog.
Straits Times - 17/09/05
A 17 year old with so much hatred in him. When I read the news, I felt justice was served, after all, I read his blog and I was angered by his entries. But I felt pity for him. Pity that he habours so much hatred - how does one become so racist? Certainly it is not a genetic defect. One wonders ....
How would my students fare if there is a test on being tolerant? I wonder what are their thoughts on this issue? One thing I note, they have to learn to be more tactful. I do hope that their interactions with me has been of some use and educational. At least, hopefully, they do know more than my standard joke that underneath the scarf I am bald (sometimes, I say I have purple hair), have no ears nor neck and that I don't get a heat stroke despite wearing long sleeves and pants plus scarf under the hot sun.
My take on it: Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but to incite intolerance and ill will is bad. To talk about it and discuss it and learn more to dispel myths, sterotypes and to encourage understanding would be great. You know, everyone should have a good dose of Russel Peters and learn to laugh at themselves and streotypes and then watch "American History X" and then do a discussion on the futility of hate and intolerance. (Of course, the immature students would just misuse Russel Peters and concoct more Fat Mama jokes during training or think it is alright to tell me degratory racist jokes.)
Problem is, it is a slippery issue. Talk all we want till the cows come home, but something more has to be done about this.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
What the ...?
Feeling very abandoned at the moment. I don't think I am cut out for this. Am I even cut out for anything? I am so questioning my life and choices now. A horrid day, stupid me, mistakes made. I am not liking my life at this moment.
Lesson learnt: very valuable. hate being put in a spot. I am too nice, I think, to people. So I expect people to be nice to me. Then I get so upset when they don't because I don't deserve it. I didn't do anything to deserve that treatment. I know where I went wrong but I dont think I deserve it like that, no matter who you are. I should be meaner, then when someone treat me in that way I would expect it. Tit for tat, right?
I am so hurt to the core.
Lesson learnt: very valuable. hate being put in a spot. I am too nice, I think, to people. So I expect people to be nice to me. Then I get so upset when they don't because I don't deserve it. I didn't do anything to deserve that treatment. I know where I went wrong but I dont think I deserve it like that, no matter who you are. I should be meaner, then when someone treat me in that way I would expect it. Tit for tat, right?
I am so hurt to the core.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
The value of friendship
I met Mai this morning at Mc's. We had a nice talk. It is rare to meet her these days cos she has betrayed us easterners and she is now living on the other side of Singapore. Haha haa, Eastern redneck and proud of it. Meeting her just now reinforced my idea of friendship. This has been on my mind for some time now. How much do you value friendship? What does one mean when one is a friend?
See, friendship needs work. Like in any relationship, one needs to work on it. Build bonds, make memories together, share gossip and communicate. I don't understand it when someone told me we will be friends and then guess what, nothing from that person. Do you value your friendship, then?
Amongst my TKAmazons, Sohabahs and other friends we don't meet up as often as we should or like nor do we communicate that often, but see we drop emails, simple SMSes to say hello. Something, anything to tell our friends, 'hey you, U ok there? I am ok and look you are special to me cos we are friends.'
Oh crap... we all have different lives now, careers take up 90% of our time and then family and what nots, sure very little time left for friends. I so do understand. "X is busy. Work is tough, u know. That's why X has not been keeping in contact." Bullshit! Everybody is busy and don't talk to me about being busy. I am busy too. Teaching does not stop when the bell goes at 245. I am stressed and busy that I even dream of working at night. And my friends who do keep in touch are also busy, busy ppl too. That person is not the only busy person around. Hey, we all can keep in touch. It does not take 10 mins to SMS or drop an email.
Well, I give up! Here is an eulogy to X:
X, we were friends. We had good times, we shared a lot and I truly enjoyed our conversations. X was funny, fun and interesting to be with. Things happened and we had a falling out. My fault, I know. But we promised to remain friends. But X did not keep X's end of the promise. I was disappointed. X, I tried, you know I did. So X, goodbye. I will stop trying. X was missed, but now no longer.
See, friendship needs work. Like in any relationship, one needs to work on it. Build bonds, make memories together, share gossip and communicate. I don't understand it when someone told me we will be friends and then guess what, nothing from that person. Do you value your friendship, then?
Amongst my TKAmazons, Sohabahs and other friends we don't meet up as often as we should or like nor do we communicate that often, but see we drop emails, simple SMSes to say hello. Something, anything to tell our friends, 'hey you, U ok there? I am ok and look you are special to me cos we are friends.'
Oh crap... we all have different lives now, careers take up 90% of our time and then family and what nots, sure very little time left for friends. I so do understand. "X is busy. Work is tough, u know. That's why X has not been keeping in contact." Bullshit! Everybody is busy and don't talk to me about being busy. I am busy too. Teaching does not stop when the bell goes at 245. I am stressed and busy that I even dream of working at night. And my friends who do keep in touch are also busy, busy ppl too. That person is not the only busy person around. Hey, we all can keep in touch. It does not take 10 mins to SMS or drop an email.
Well, I give up! Here is an eulogy to X:
X, we were friends. We had good times, we shared a lot and I truly enjoyed our conversations. X was funny, fun and interesting to be with. Things happened and we had a falling out. My fault, I know. But we promised to remain friends. But X did not keep X's end of the promise. I was disappointed. X, I tried, you know I did. So X, goodbye. I will stop trying. X was missed, but now no longer.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
blast to the past
Interesting day - today seems like I stepped back into the past when I was still actively volunteering. Interfaith forum at Furama (former Novotel Apollo) hotel. Basically, doing mindless adhoc logistics, secretariat job and enjoying myself with my friends and meeting new ppl and eating free and good food. hehe
Nazry and Nazirah are still in the honeymoon period. Sweet in the beginning but they got neauseating and we felt very arkward. Haha. Oooh and this hotel manager was kind of cute. I noticed and so did my friends that he seemed to be checking me out. Was flattered. Heh heh.
The rest of the day was spent in just lounging around and ushering ppl and eating. Basiclaly it went like this:
7a.m: Breakfast at Mc's. HAd Big Breakfast
8-9 am: Lounge around at the Sofa while waiting for Darul staff to arrive.
9-10: Set up registration booth, free pubs and stuff and then suhered ppl in to teh ballroom.
10: Second and third breakfast - hotel food and half a filet fish and suusage egg mc muffin from Mcs that Mahdi bought for us.
11- 12.30: lounged around and had a good time talking away.
12.30-2: Lunch. Food from Kintamani Restaurant. Ate a lot, got very sleepy.
2-2.30: sat at the sofa and fell asleep
2.30- 3: went to the hotel pool because it was so cold in the ballroom.
3-3.30: lounged at the prayer area and started clearing up a bit.
3.30-4: Ate leftover hotcakes from Mcs
4-4.30: cleared the main stuff.
4.30: went home and slept until 6 (sleep was interrupted cos Hejun finally sms me :p)
Gosh! I ate a lot and practically did nothing. It really felt like it was a blast from the past. Sure our conversations are now more matured, politics, work, marriage, sex, but for this one day I felt so free from worries and I did not feel so burdened by responsibilities and work. It was just fun and laughter and catching up with friends. No stress.
We did something fun at the end when all the participants left. We collected all the writing material - writing paper and pen- and all the sweets the hotel provided in one box. I took home 3 pens and a bowlful of sweets. hehee.
Nazry and Nazirah are still in the honeymoon period. Sweet in the beginning but they got neauseating and we felt very arkward. Haha. Oooh and this hotel manager was kind of cute. I noticed and so did my friends that he seemed to be checking me out. Was flattered. Heh heh.
The rest of the day was spent in just lounging around and ushering ppl and eating. Basiclaly it went like this:
7a.m: Breakfast at Mc's. HAd Big Breakfast
8-9 am: Lounge around at the Sofa while waiting for Darul staff to arrive.
9-10: Set up registration booth, free pubs and stuff and then suhered ppl in to teh ballroom.
10: Second and third breakfast - hotel food and half a filet fish and suusage egg mc muffin from Mcs that Mahdi bought for us.
11- 12.30: lounged around and had a good time talking away.
12.30-2: Lunch. Food from Kintamani Restaurant. Ate a lot, got very sleepy.
2-2.30: sat at the sofa and fell asleep
2.30- 3: went to the hotel pool because it was so cold in the ballroom.
3-3.30: lounged at the prayer area and started clearing up a bit.
3.30-4: Ate leftover hotcakes from Mcs
4-4.30: cleared the main stuff.
4.30: went home and slept until 6 (sleep was interrupted cos Hejun finally sms me :p)
Gosh! I ate a lot and practically did nothing. It really felt like it was a blast from the past. Sure our conversations are now more matured, politics, work, marriage, sex, but for this one day I felt so free from worries and I did not feel so burdened by responsibilities and work. It was just fun and laughter and catching up with friends. No stress.
We did something fun at the end when all the participants left. We collected all the writing material - writing paper and pen- and all the sweets the hotel provided in one box. I took home 3 pens and a bowlful of sweets. hehee.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
7 things
Just got home from teachers' day dinner. It was fun, retro and all. Played 2 games of pool after that. 2nd time in my life I played the game. I like the game but need loads of practice if I want to be good at it. The last time I played it was years ago when I was still in uni. And that was with my ex. Ok, well, I can use the TEN to brush up on my skills. :)
Anyway, I had to go home after that cos it was past midnight and my very conservative parents won't sleep if I dont go home. You can't educate your child and get them exposed to all sorts of cultures, values and ideas and expect them to live by your old fashioned principles. Seriously, the least they could do is know the world I am living in. "Karaoke is a bad influence, don't you dare go karaokeing." (Roll eyes) Principal and VP was karaokeing too, dear mum and dad. Bet they would just collapse if they knew I was playing pool in a smoky lounge and was the only gal in our group of 5. Shhh...don't tell them. Sigh...my parents. Got to accept them cos they are the only set of parents I have. Conservative as they are and ridiculous it seems that at my age I have to follow a set of rules that are outmoded, I won't rebel against them. Cos I was brought up to be a good girl and I love my parents unconditionally. They have my best interest at heart even though their rules and mindset frustrate me. I grew up fine; just zany, crazy, loud, adventure seeking and far from being the domesticated, soft, obedient and typical young Malay woman that my parents aspire me to be; so they must be doing something right.
But, in the end, I am just a repressed person underneath all that calm exterior. The wild streak is yearning to get out. Perhaps one day when I could do all what I want to do, by then my spirit would have died and I become typical. I hate being typical. All my life I fight against being typical and I am just so afraid I will end up being like one of those average typical Minah Janes out there. I just want to be me but it is funny, ironic even having your parents saying when you are a child : "when you grow up, you can be whatever you want to be." You can be anything but yourself, because what you are is dictated by what one's family and society expects you to be. I am something else to everybody else, but I am seldom ever me nowadays. I am beginning to lose touch with who I am these days.
Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum ...
Okie, here are seven things that aai asked me to do, not in random order:
seven things that scare me:
1. not obeying Him
2. scary movies - incredible tales included
3. not being able to provide for my family
4. being lonely and unloved - including losing those I love
5. being seen as irresponsible and incompetent
6. losing myself
7. no security for my future
seven things I like the most
1. knowing that He is always with me
2. chocolates
3. going out with someone who I am comfy with and have the same wavelength as me. Read: opposite gender.
4. cats - they lead uncomplicated lives
5. daydreaming
6. the scent of freshly cut grass/ the forest after a rain
7. walking on dewy grass in the early morning
seven most important things in my room
1. my bed
2. my pc
3. my drawer with all my important documents
4. my 4 door cupboard brimming with my clothes and bags
5. my Aussino bedsheets, especially the embroidered or exclusive ones
6. my junk - things that don't fall into any category but they are there for some reason.
7. my mirror
seven random facts about me
1. I am untidy but my mess are organized mess
2. I like sports -
3. I am most vulnerable and emotional when I am PMStic and I cry when nobody is around.
4. I am incurable romantic
5. I talk to cats
6. I hate doing household chores
7. I am terribly competitive - play to win
seven things I would like to do before I die
1. complete all the articles of faith
2. repent and don't make the same mistakes again
3. Get married and have at least 3 children - one set of twins would be nice :)
4. travel more
5. further my studies outside Singapore
6. be a good wife and mother
7. do more adventurous stuff like bungee jump, etc.
seven things I can't do
1. maths
2. split myself into 2 so that I can attend softball and remedial at the same time
3. drive
4. understand why girls can be so bitchy when I am a girl myself
5. understand why girls always give the excuse of being the weaker sex just because they fail to get things done right
6. travel during non peak period
7. remain slim without exercising
seven things I say the most
1. whatever
2. rubbish
3. you people are very mean, you know
4. okie, moving on
5. Good morning/afternoon class
6. Thank you class
7. huh?
seven celeb crushes
1. Jude Law
2. ewan mcgregor
3. The guy who played in LOTR - not orlando, Liv Tyler's lover (it is 2 in the morning, can't think)
4. Spiderman - both the character and the actor whostarred in the movie
5. Christian Bale
6. Nick in CSI Las Vegas :)
7. Brad Pitt
seven ppl who have to do this
Anybody interested can do this. I dont care for chain mails. I did this cos it was fun at first and I must finish what I started. Phew! all done.
Anyway, I had to go home after that cos it was past midnight and my very conservative parents won't sleep if I dont go home. You can't educate your child and get them exposed to all sorts of cultures, values and ideas and expect them to live by your old fashioned principles. Seriously, the least they could do is know the world I am living in. "Karaoke is a bad influence, don't you dare go karaokeing." (Roll eyes) Principal and VP was karaokeing too, dear mum and dad. Bet they would just collapse if they knew I was playing pool in a smoky lounge and was the only gal in our group of 5. Shhh...don't tell them. Sigh...my parents. Got to accept them cos they are the only set of parents I have. Conservative as they are and ridiculous it seems that at my age I have to follow a set of rules that are outmoded, I won't rebel against them. Cos I was brought up to be a good girl and I love my parents unconditionally. They have my best interest at heart even though their rules and mindset frustrate me. I grew up fine; just zany, crazy, loud, adventure seeking and far from being the domesticated, soft, obedient and typical young Malay woman that my parents aspire me to be; so they must be doing something right.
But, in the end, I am just a repressed person underneath all that calm exterior. The wild streak is yearning to get out. Perhaps one day when I could do all what I want to do, by then my spirit would have died and I become typical. I hate being typical. All my life I fight against being typical and I am just so afraid I will end up being like one of those average typical Minah Janes out there. I just want to be me but it is funny, ironic even having your parents saying when you are a child : "when you grow up, you can be whatever you want to be." You can be anything but yourself, because what you are is dictated by what one's family and society expects you to be. I am something else to everybody else, but I am seldom ever me nowadays. I am beginning to lose touch with who I am these days.
Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum ...
Okie, here are seven things that aai asked me to do, not in random order:
seven things that scare me:
1. not obeying Him
2. scary movies - incredible tales included
3. not being able to provide for my family
4. being lonely and unloved - including losing those I love
5. being seen as irresponsible and incompetent
6. losing myself
7. no security for my future
seven things I like the most
1. knowing that He is always with me
2. chocolates
3. going out with someone who I am comfy with and have the same wavelength as me. Read: opposite gender.
4. cats - they lead uncomplicated lives
5. daydreaming
6. the scent of freshly cut grass/ the forest after a rain
7. walking on dewy grass in the early morning
seven most important things in my room
1. my bed
2. my pc
3. my drawer with all my important documents
4. my 4 door cupboard brimming with my clothes and bags
5. my Aussino bedsheets, especially the embroidered or exclusive ones
6. my junk - things that don't fall into any category but they are there for some reason.
7. my mirror
seven random facts about me
1. I am untidy but my mess are organized mess
2. I like sports -
3. I am most vulnerable and emotional when I am PMStic and I cry when nobody is around.
4. I am incurable romantic
5. I talk to cats
6. I hate doing household chores
7. I am terribly competitive - play to win
seven things I would like to do before I die
1. complete all the articles of faith
2. repent and don't make the same mistakes again
3. Get married and have at least 3 children - one set of twins would be nice :)
4. travel more
5. further my studies outside Singapore
6. be a good wife and mother
7. do more adventurous stuff like bungee jump, etc.
seven things I can't do
1. maths
2. split myself into 2 so that I can attend softball and remedial at the same time
3. drive
4. understand why girls can be so bitchy when I am a girl myself
5. understand why girls always give the excuse of being the weaker sex just because they fail to get things done right
6. travel during non peak period
7. remain slim without exercising
seven things I say the most
1. whatever
2. rubbish
3. you people are very mean, you know
4. okie, moving on
5. Good morning/afternoon class
6. Thank you class
7. huh?
seven celeb crushes
1. Jude Law
2. ewan mcgregor
3. The guy who played in LOTR - not orlando, Liv Tyler's lover (it is 2 in the morning, can't think)
4. Spiderman - both the character and the actor whostarred in the movie
5. Christian Bale
6. Nick in CSI Las Vegas :)
7. Brad Pitt
seven ppl who have to do this
Anybody interested can do this. I dont care for chain mails. I did this cos it was fun at first and I must finish what I started. Phew! all done.
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