For the love of the game

My B division boys - My Gentlemen

Their dreams are shattered. Hopes of glory gone. My heart feels heavy for them. Tears in my eyes. It is hard for me to see them thwarted again then I am sure it must be harder for them.

I have seen how hard they have worked to improve themselves. I could sense their desire to win. They have a vast knowledge of the game, but circumstances are not on their side, again. Their journey as AHS softballers will come to a close in a few days time, a journey that was cut short. It may end for now but I do hope they will continue on their journey in softball in years to come. Don't give up, my boys. Be strong and prevail, one day you will achieve the gold.

A group of gentlemen. Smart, funny, charming, polite, humble, disciplined and talented - was the feedback a lot of teachers had given me. I could not agree more. I am very proud of them mainly because they have good character. I would like to follow up on them when they leave AHS, to see the paths they will take. I am sure they will continue to be the gentlemen they are today and I would like to be there to applaud them in their future successes.

They have not disappoint me, they are and will always be my gentlemen.

my mind's a blank

I am so tired, my back is aching, I feel stressed and I just want to cry. I have spent the entire weekend on doing up notes, slides and whatever stuff for school. Today alone, I spent hours in front of the laptop. my back hurts. In my mind, when I think of the subjects I teach, I see myself hyperventilating cos it seems like it is so overwhelming and I am so tired and I can't breathe because there are so many things to do and I don't know if my students are learning enough. It is bad enough I have nightmares, now I am being Ally McBealish.

Should teacher's blog? That is the question in today's Life. So, some feel that teachers should not and if they do, not to complain. Well, well, ok, I agree if there are complaints, then the students and issues should remain anonymous. Understandable. No point slurring someone's good name on the net. I do admit that I do complain vehemently about my profession when I am in the mood to do so. So, we teachers complain and some complain through blogging. By doing so, are we being not professional. Maybe, I guess there is a limit to what can be blogged. I have no issues there. What I can't phantom is that why is it that ST likes to spotlight on the wrongs/misdeeds/misjudgements of teachers? Are teachers saints? How come there is a higher morality standards for teachers. How come mistakes made, no matter if it is small, are unforgivable because, get this, we are teachers? ST should perhaps highlight what the actual job of teachers. Rhetorical questions, I may have. I will stop at this point before it gets worse.

Hey, I have nothing against the profession. I do like teaching and interacting with students. I took a career test, and well, teaching is my no. 1 ability. Well, hey, looks like teaching is in my blood. But, that does not mean I can't complain and wonder about the circumstances I am in. If I don't like teaching, would I in my right mind feel bad because I don't have enough time to design interactive lessons? Okie, getting all stressed up again.

With luck I will get through till Friday without actually hyperventilating.

complex toys

I never realized that toys have evolved so much today. What happened to plain old marbles and pick up sticks, 5 stones and simple robots and cars? They have somehow disappeared and are replaced by complicated toys that requires assembly and more than basic understanding of mechanics.

we celebrated my nephew's 5th birthday today. He had plenty of presents, the biggest from his parents - Hot Wheels racing track and cars. Pretty cool, and we wowed at how wonderful his presents are until we realised that we needed to put them together and there were like millions of parts. And such complicated instructions, too. So 3 adults tried to fix the track. I read the manual, giving instructions, and my bro in law and his cousin were fixing the track with 6 over-excited, screaming children trying to help, but actually hindering, around us. It took us 1/2 an hour to assemble it. Halfway the kids were already pushing cars around the track while we were still attaching various parts of the track together. In the end, when we were done, we were exhausted and the kids had such a ball trying out the battery operated race track and hot wheels. All we could do was watch them play. We had our turn when the kids left. Hhehee.

That was not the only present that needed assembly. Most presents required us to assemble the parts. There was 2 more hot wheels stuff, a transformer robot and I bought for him a Lego like toy that he can fix and build 3 racing cars. After piecing the other 2 Hot Wheels products and trying to figure out the transformer, I did not even dare to open my present. Mine has gzillion parts and I had enough of putting things together.

The adults marveled at such toys. we never had anything so sophisticated in our childhood. It is nice and all, but it wouldn't last very long nor would it hold the attention of my nephew for long when the novelty wears off. Today's toys are sophisticated but it does not hold much promise of giving them any imagination or creativity. I still prefer my old toys. Too bad today's kids don't get to play them.

I am not ashamed, I did it.

I did it. Finally. Yes, I did something that I have been thinking of doing for close to a year. I was apprehensive. I never dared to do it. Everytime I wanted to do it, I chickened out. I always think of what my friends and family will say if I were to do it. Would they shake their heads and look at me with exasperation and disappointment? Or would they give me a lecture? Would anyone support me? But, I went and did it anyway. I did not consult anyone. I was quite afraid at first. I couldn't sleep at all last night. The thought of doing it scared me but I wanted to do it anyway. I know I must do it at whatever the cost. I decided not to think about it anymore, I must just jump in and do it. I know people who have done it, so why should I not do it? In the end I am glad I did it. I enjoyed the entire process of doing it and I am not ashamed to say I did it.







Yes, I finally made a pair of customised Adidas running shoes. Heh, what were you thinking?

Yeah, it cost a bomb but I had to make one. Apparently few running shoes on the shelf suited my needs and feet problems. I had enough of suffering from shin splints everytime I run with my current pair of track shoes. Left foot is flat footed (a result of too much walking and running - must be the teaching career). Never was flat footed, i was quite devastated to find out. Plus I have bunions on both feet, very bad one on my right foot. So I need a broad pair of shoes with a good stiff cushioning. There are a few brands with several models that suited my needs but they are damn ugly. Imagine a pair of white based shoes with shiny silver and light green trims. And they are pretty expensive anyway. So, I might as well top up a bit to get my own customised pair with colours I like and my name embroidered on it.

Yeah, I am glad I did it and I enjoyed the entire process. heh, serious. Doing the tests and all was quite fun. But you have to be quite thick skinned cos there will be loads of people watching. Felt like a star for a bit. Hahha. Cool. In 4 weeks I will have my new Adiddas running shoes. No more shin splint, painful arches and heels. Yeah! :)

reflections at the park connector

I had a revelation at the siglap park connector. These things happen when your mind is free and you are jogging or walking and suddenly you had a brilliant idea or you finally understood something that has been bugging you in the past. So my revelation: I measure idiotic male species of the human kind to the boys that I teach. No, I am not saying the boys I teach and know are idiotic. I use them as a yardstick on how men should be men and boys should be boys. Hmm.. Sounds a bit cheem. I shall illustrate with examples.

Monday, taxi ride to school. Taxi driver (a member of the idiotic species of the male human kind) refuse to drive into the school. Expects me to drop of at the gate and walk in. I did not want to kick up a fuss but just inquired on why he refused to drive me in. He said "No". I, not understanding, told him that he could drive in as I am a teacher and the security guard would let the taxi in. "No" came the reply. I asked why again and the negative answer came again. So again for 3 times I asked for a reason but he kept answering "no". I was getting irritated by now. Seriously, there should be a better answer than a "NO". To cut a long story short, I paid him ( I should have refused to pay him), muttered crazy, slammed the door and stalked angrily into the school. So, what has this got to do with my students? Plenty. While arguing with the taxi driver, I suddenly had a deja vu feeling that I had this kind of conversation with several students. Every question is replied with a monosyllabic answer. It is expected in a student but when it comes from adults, it is very, extremely irritating.

Another example: a blind date. Another member of the idiotic species of the male human kind. He does not get sarcasm nor does he get subtle rejection. If he bothers me again, I shall drop all forms of subtlety and tell him that I am not interested. (Men, they just don't get it) So this idiot is like my student because that was my first impression of him. My colleagues tell me I am too critical and choosy when it comes to men, so I decided to lower my standards and give this man a chance even though he sounds really immature in his messages. So this is where he went wrong:
1) he was very, very late
2) he honked for me at the driveway. I have never met him, much less his car. How would I know which car he was in. And anyway, you don't honk for a girl on the 1st date. What, you think I am some kind of a bimbo who runs when a guy calls for her? Puhleeeese.
3) he did not plan for the date. (boys, take note - when you ask a girl out for a date, always plan for the date and have backup itenirary)
4) his dressing reminded me of my students - polo t-shirt with collars turned up, scruffy jeans and worn out, torn North Star shoes.
Loads of things went wrong but his dressing puts me off big time. I felt like I was walking with any of my students. And he is over 30 for goodness sake but he has the ego to claim that he looks like he just grad from school. And this really immature man thinks that I, as a teacher have the luxury to go out at any time he wants. My time, apparently is not as precious as his. I suppose he thinks that I am waiting around for him to call me and ask me out for future dates and that I will drop everything else just to go out with him because he works shift as a duty manager in a big hotel. Sorrrieee, I have a social life. This happened last year, but it all came back to me because this idiot of a man who has not contacted me for 3 months (I have totally forgotten that he existed) suddenly smsed me last week with the hopes of picking up where we left off (fat chance!).

Ok, so these 2 idiots of the male species reminded me very much of my boys. Except my boys are expected to behave in that way because they are still in the early teens. And I think that most of my boys that I know are much more gentlemanly than these 2 idiots. See, how the men have failed.

So, that was my revelation while brisk walking/ jogging from home to East Coast Road. I hope not to meet with anymore idiotic men in the near future. Once a year should be enough.

friends

The following is taken from my best friend's blog. It warms the very cockles of my heart. :)

From Ana's blog:
2day i was reminded of what friends are..and how we take our friends for granted based on the duration of the friendship
Many friends come. Most friends go. Most remain in the shadows, in the handphone as contacts..never smsed or called but just as a reminder tt we were once friends who kept in contact because we were in the same school...or same workplace. Never used the number but just cant delete the contact file..just in case (tho there is never a case to call or catch up) So in handphone we have hundreds of so called friends...
Yet, how many friends are ever on the frequent sms list? How many on the recently received and dialled list? Are we friends cos we hang out at the same place, study in the same school, work in the same department, live in the same area or are we friends so we want to study in the same area, work in the same department, hang in the same area?
Are you a friend just cos u knew me 10 yrs ago? Are you not a friend cos we used to talk regularly few yrs ago but we don't anymore? Are you a friend cos you see me at work everyday and you ask me bout my day?Are you not a friend cos we only meet once a year?
A friend called me earlier today and told me "i've known you for 9 yrs so i need you to be a reference for clearance".Told. Not asked. I was so offended cos We were extremely close for 9 yrs but not anymore. Havnt been for a while. so does it count? Do i really wanna hav a friend who calls only to remind me we were close for a decade so favours can be called in as and when required? Where has tt friendship lead us? Is there stil anything i stil get from tt friendship tt i cant get anywhere?
Anotehr friend said late this nite..wah..you n z hav been friends for so long already ah! And then me n tt z realised tt we have kept in touch and been der for each other for 20 yrs. Not hi bye..but actual go out and hang once every few months. When we go out, she instantly tells me ( not ask but tell) to sit n she will get my food cos she knows i wont want to get my own food. Someone heard us and was surprised cos it was just so natural for us to read each others mind without realising it. She said the same thing i had typed bout the whole marriage thing...before she read my previous entry. she has hav never implied tt i hav to be nicer to her cos she's known me the longest...In fact..i can be super lazer with her and yet it has never affected our friendship.
Are you nice because you are my friend or are you my friend because you are nice?
Just to let ya know i love ya- the amazons, the babes, the girls.
Z - happy 20th anniversary!!!!

Happy 20th anniversary to you too, Farhana! :)

Sunday TV

After the Torino Winter Olympic Games, Sunday TV is back to normal. Yaay! Debbie Travis is back! I love that show, for many reasons. It is funny, quirky and different from other home make over shows. Of course I look forward to having a glimpse of Scottie. He is cute. I can totally gush about him, but I shall not. I like the way Debbie Travis dress her employees. They all wear the same type of t-shirt - sportscut design or what I call the baseball style t-shirt - but of different colours. So carpenters wear orange with black sleeves, painters wear blue on blue and so on. The cool thing is they can have a variety of colours. So even though the painters wear blue, they have various shades of blue, or they can team up with white and blue sleeves. Then the carpenters can wear orange with blue sleeves. I only discovered it last week after watching dozens of her shows. You know people generally look good with this kind of t-shirts. I think men who wear them are so hot. (Scottie by the way, is a carpenter, and he looks incredibly hot in his orange and black T :P )