It'a Ramadhan and all and I am supposed to refrain but....

BITCH!!!!!!!

Peace and love

Peace and love comes with a price? Hmm...

The Devil Wears Prada

I just caught a glimpse of Teacher's Day Rally on the news and one word went through my mind. Suffice to say, it was not something wholesome. Hah haha heh heh. Amusing and sad.

I just finished reading the above mentioned book. Read, mind you, not watched it in the movies. It is a brilliant book! Go read it, I really recommend it. I find it has a satisfying resolution. The big dramatic scene when the protagonist finally made up her mind and did the most sane thing she had ever done was wonderful. I imagined I was her all the time. Hahah haha. powerful stuff. That scene is my fave. :)

I was kind of inspired by the book. It is time for risks and changes. :)

have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered...

1. What happened to all the clothes that Superman tears off when he goes into the phone booth to change?
2. How come no one recognises Superman as Clark Kent when all he does is to put a curly lock on his forehead to change his appearance?
3. How come a small piece of mask that covers the eyes of superheroes/villains will make them unrecognisable to the rest of the cartoon world?
4. Why do Superman and Batman wear their underwear outside?
5. How come Hulk's boxer shorts expands and shrinks according to his personality changes? Shouldn't they rip apart?
6. How come all the Superheroes/villain are concentrated in USA (or a country that resembles USA)?
7. How come bad things happen in cities of USA and when it happens in some other countries, these countries are depicted as rural and backward?
8. How is it when Mary Jane got caught by Dr. Octavia's claws her skirt did not flip up? Nothing dirty here, but wind and gravity... go figure...?
9. Why do the Teen Titans get to stay at home and fight crime? Don't they have to go to school?
10. How does Hawk Girl wears her clothes? She wore a white body hugging tank top in one of the Justice League cartoons ... how in the world did she get it on if she has a pair of wings sprouting from her back?
11. Why is it that the Powerpuff girls have no fingers or toes?
12. Who makes Superman's and Spiderman's costumes? If their identities are such a secret, do their alter egos sew their own costumes then? But they never seem to do so in the shows ... the costumes can't appear out of no where...
13. Batman relies on Alfred a lot ... what happens if Alfred dies? Alfred is old ....
14. Super heros never go to the toilet, never.
15. But what happens if they need to?

The affairs of the Stamp

Good news!

My Core History class did very well at the Singpex competition recently.
We sent in 5 entries and we won 1 silver and 4 bronzes. Good work people. I am rather proud of them. They had put in a lot of hard work, effort and I am sure, sweat, tears and blood as well.

I also sent in an entry under the Adult category and I won the silver prize. Heh, didn't expect to win anything. Anyway, cool. So, the prize giving ceremony is this Saturday, 26th August at United Square. Do visit the exhibition which is held there this weekend. My entry is Fantastic Felines and I go by the pseudonym of Queen Z. Heehhe, go figure....

Water spout

Water spout sighted off the coast of Sentosa. Eye witness account said that all the people started running towards the shoreline and started taking photos of it.

Water spout = something like a mini tornado

Think about it, you would think that with all the deaths and tragedy that was caused by natural phenomenons around the world, Singaporeans will be smart enough to take shelter instead of "look, look, tornado! Let's take photos! Yippee!"

Of course, no harm done cos water spouts dissipates quickly. Still, let's be smart about stuff. Singapore is safe - no volcanoes, no hurricanes, no earthquakes - but not totally safe.

Gratitude

I can't control what happen next so I should stop being worried and think so much about this issue. Sensitive issue, can't really blog about it. I am just thankful that I have so many wonderful friends who are so willing to listen and advise me. I feel blessed that they are there to comfort me when I needed someone. The past few days, I just didn't want to work. I wanted to bury my head under my covers, sleep and fall into oblivion and perhaps miraculously when I wake up the problem is solved, the sun is shining and everyone is happy again. But sleep, especially excessive sleep is an enemy - signs of depression. I am glad I stuck to my decision to do my circuit training and meet up with some people at the talk at DA. I felt happy and all charged up after a good workout. My discussion over this issue with 3 worldly wise people had put me in the right direction. I know what to do now. I feel empowered.

I don't think I could have made it through without my friends. TKAmazons who saw me online and immediately picked up my SOS. My DA people and Salem's daughter who kindly advised and listened to me and were patient even though I was in a self pity/self justification mood and did not want to accept advice. But they prevailed and I know what they said was right. My sisterhood of the magnetic chains babes who have their own huge problems but so willing to go out so we can bitch together and make ourselves feel good. Lastly, I am glad I have the support of a very young person who does not even know the details and yet told me that my happiness is most important and I should do what is right to achieve that happiness even if it means sacrificing something. If anything, this young person made me stronger and more determined. I am not going to sacrifice something close to my heart so that I can be free of this problem. The solution is just round the corner, I should just wait and stop agonizing over it. Afterall, Allah will never put me in a test that He knows I can't cope. I am very thankful to Him for I am in a good company.

It's been almost a month since my last blog. The tournaments are all over. Top 8 in Nationals again for my boys. Hopefully, better achievements next year. Spur them on to greater heights.

Saw Peterpan on tv just now. They showed the concert I went to and the interview and then a video clip of my fave song - Langit tak mendengar. For a while, I was in a state of bliss. Forgot all the unhappy thoughts and feelings.

Not been very happy lately. So many things happen. Shocking things. Each time I recall that incident, I still feel shock. I wish it didn't happen, then I wouldn't do what I did. I feel badly. It should be a good moment for me, but I don't feel good about it. Soemtimes, I wish I kept it to myself. No one would know and time would pass and I will eventually forget about it. But then what? The matter could be made worse. If I didn't stand up for my rights, then perhaps it would go on and on and soemone else could get hurt. I wish the words were not said. Perhaps, I could have handled it differently. I could have said something and then drop the matter.

But it already happened. Look forward. Tmr is a new day. It could be a better day. I wish I have a mean streak in me. Then, I would not feel badly over what I did. So many have told me that I did the right thing. I should feel comforted over it, it is not my fault. I know it is not my fault, for goodness sake. I should just not think about it. I did the right thing. I was not in the wrong. It was a serious thing and it demanded a serious course of action. I wish I know what is going to happen next over this matter.

Down and out

I discovered that disappointment is worse than having a broken heart and trust me I had a few broken hearts in my lifetime. I wish I am angry. With anger, I can shout and go for aerobics or kickboxing and feel better after that. Disappointment lingers on and weighs you down. I want to cry yet I can't cry. I am not angry. I don't think I can handle anymore disappointments like this. My hopes for the best is in a precarious position. Funny, my hopes are not even for me. They are for those boys and gals that I care for.

They say the people you care for will disappoint you. I never thought it true until lately. Small waves of disappointment and then today... I can't take it anymore. I have my quota for disappointment filled up already. Please, no more. I got over my disappointment with the B div. Now both C divs.... heart wrenching.... please God, let them win!

Lost in Translation

This is my recent fave song by Peterpan band. Initially I like the song for its music. Later on I scrutinised the lyrics, they are beautiful. Once upon a time a long time ago, this could be my theme music. Sad, but true. Now, I look at the kyrics and the literature buff in me just fell in love with the words. The lyrics are so poetic. Simple language but so profound. It is more than just about a broken heart, the lyrics are positively philosophical. Of course when translated in English most of the deeper and hidden undertones of the lyrics are lost.


Langit Tak Mendengar

Jalan hidup telah memilih
Menurunkan aku ke bumi
Hari berganti dan berganti
Aku diam tak memahami


Mengapa hidup begitu sepi
Apakah hidup seperti ini
Mengapa ku selalu sendiri
Apakah hidupku tak berarti


Coba bertanya pada manusia
Tak ada jawabnya
Aku bertanya pada langit tua
Langit tak mendengar

The sky didn't hear me
The path of life have chosen
To put me here on earth
Days keep on changing
I stood still, failing to grasp the meaning

Why is life so barren?
Is life like this?
Why am I always alone?
Does my life have no meaning?

I try asking mankind
No answer is given
I question the old sky
The sky didn't hear me

They rocked the house down! Part 3

okie...more pictures. Enjoy

They rocked the house down! Part 2

Okie, I really should back track. Prior to the concert and stalking, I did the teeny bopper groupie thingy. I greeted them at the airport. hehhe hehe. I know, I know, my students have been telling me that I am old, not supposed to be over excited by some band and chase them around town. Some think I am crazy .... but guess what? I don't care. It is something I have never done in my life and I am glad I did it. Besides, what is age? It is nothing but a number. Don't compartmentalise me and say this is what a teacher/person of 27 should not be doing. Hehe Besides, it is fun. And I have my Sohabahs with me. We are a fun loving, crazy bunch of people.

Anyway, back to Peterpan... what can I say. We waited for them despite the delay in their flight. Took photos of their luggage that came first. Went for the Peterpan fan club launching. They are so near to me. Like 2 metres away. So reachable, yet at times like this, my self consciousness will kick in. I could not bring myself to talk to them. So star- struck, I was. I am amazed at how gals could hug them (shameless hussies). I remembered when I stalked them and took a photo with them, I was trembling all over. I walked past them 3 times and backed out each time. I had to call Chups for moral support. Hahha. Well, I did it, anyway. He hehe, By the way, I forgot to mention in the last entry that because of Peterpan, I went into a pub for the first time. It was at Chjimes. The smell of alcohol is not very nice, you know.

I came out of this experience, more the wiser. I know more about these boys from Peterpan. Some things pleasant, some things not so pleasant. I still like them but I have learnt I am no longer star-struck. From afar, they seem so surreal, giant-like to be admired and loved by all. But, our meeting have shown me they are just normal human beings - they just have the talent to rock, and rock they did. For their music, I love them still, I cannot wait for their next album. I still think Ariel is sexy, Andika cute and Uki has charms though, but they are just like you and me. :)

So, ada apa dengan Peterpan? You listen to their songs, you just can't help loving them.

They rocked the house down!

Concert at HRC 17th June 2006.

First time, I went HRC. Probably my first and perhaps my last. Peterpan was responsible for it.

Peterpan band, made me do many a first.

1. Join a fan club
2. Go to the airport to greet celebrities - them
3. Take photos with celebrities - them
4. Go on a stalking mission
5. Go to HRC
6. Queue for 5 hours for a concert
:) :) :)

A pretty fun, exciting and cool time. Definitely the highlight of this June hols. By the way, I am wearing a Peterpan t-shirt and listening to their songs while blogging all this. My mind is doing a flashback of the concert that rocked the house!






4 sohabahs who went through the Peterpan experience.

Ariel, he looked at me many times during the concert. I swear! Cos I am a head taller than everybody else as I climbed the bottom rung of the barrier and I was so totally noticeable. So, he was so looking at me!. Heh heh.

They rocked the house man! All their sonsg they made into rock version. They are so good. The drums, guitars, keyboard and vocals working in harmony to prosduce such wonderful songs. Bliss!

Me with 4 out of 6 of the band members. Notice, Andika's hand around me. Hah hha. Ariel and Uki, missing. From left, Andika, me, Lokeman, Reza, Indra. I was at Paragon and "accidentally" met them. he heh (15th June 2006)

Anyway, they are very nice.

I met Andika accidentally, this time pure coincident, on friday. Shook his hands. He's a cutie, both looks and personality.

Okie, enough for now. More Peterpan ... next entry. :)

Old injuries

It is amazing how old injuries come back to haunt you. My right ankle and left elbow twinges when moved in a certain way. My right ankle's injury took me by surprise just now. It sort of twisted and gave a crack which hurt and made me lose my balance. Fell down, but I stopped the ball anyway. It still hurts when I twist them around. But, no pain no glory....? What glory? it's not like I am taking part in any tournaments. Oh well, satisfaction, I suppose. The competitor in me, the 'it is all or nothing' person, the 'you go girl, you can do it' character that does not give up that drives me to play just now.

I feel kinda guilty about my elbow. Every now and then when I exercise and my left elbow twinge, I remembered what my physiotherapist said at the last appointment 2 years ago : Now you are discharged, but you need to use weights to strenthen your left arm and you need to straighten it further another 5-10 degrees. (oh, if you straighten your arm, the angle is more than 180, my right is 194, but my left after it got broken is 18 something. So, when I straighten both arms, they are not parallel.) Well, it twinges and it is so weak. I can't support my weight with my left arm! The elbow really hurts. A constant reminder that I push myself too hard to attain excellence in sports, but I don't learn...I still push myself harder. Except for skating of course, that sport, I will take it easy... Don't want to risk another broken limb. heh heh.

Now, I am suffering from 2 old injuries, pain in the neck and stiff shoulders. I am not very comfortable. oooh my neck....my ankle, my elbow....Ow!

Mistress Cat

I swear cats are much more intelligent than we think they are. Another cat had adopted my family, yes, that's right, cats adopt us and not the other way round. So far there has been, starting from the latest adopter: manja, hitam-putih, minah, mat, belang, 5 cats that has adopted us. It is all very unceremonious, we do not even know they have adopted us until we find them sleeping on the sofa or bed. Usually, sleeping in the flat confirms it all. They managed to get into our hearts and we allowed them to stay.

If you notice, their names are not very glamorous or remotely cute. You see, these cats will come and ask for food and they usually go away and then they keep coming back for food. We don't give them cute names cos it would mean we get attached to them. But, they stayed and eat and sleep in the flat, eventually. Most of the time, they end up on my bed, taking away precious space from me. It is sad, but I usually give in to these cats. They always sleep in the centre and I have a tiny weeny space at the side. You see, how smart they are. They rule the sleeping arrangements. Hahha. It is a wonder these tiny little things can manipulate human beings.

So this new cat, has already claimed my bed. She is in the middle, that is expected. She has this gorgeous huge yellow eyes that are so curious. She is black and white just like Hitam Putih. So we are not sure what to call her. We can't call her by her colour cos then we will have to call her Hitam Putih Junior or HP 2. She is so lovable, always purring and she is just putty when we pick her up. She loves to be kissed. I have been calling her manja for her coyness, my dad calls her betina, which means female. Naturally, we don't expect to keep her, but I think we are in for a long haul with her.

Seriously, my family has always been in a state of denial about the cats. We always claim they are not ours because they don't stay in all the time. I think the cats consider us an extension of their cat family who feeds them. It is funny that we don't call these cats ours when they only respond to us outside and follow us into the lift and walk home with us. With other people they just run away. So, yes, they are not ours. Right.

Anyway, we are all in a dilemma, cos Hitam Putih is very territorial. He had seen Manja at home before and he would have beaten her to a pulp if I have not stepped in. I had to clean the mess they made. Cat pee all over the floor and fur flying. What a todo! So now she is inside and what happens when Hitam Putih comes home?

By the way another reason why cats are smarter is because they make you feed them good food. Really, stray cats will eat anything you throw at them. Fish, chicken, liver, you name it. They will also put on their cute face and will roll around for you asking to be tickled and stroked. But, when they claim you as their adopted family, they don't do these thinsg anymore. They don't want to eat the same cat food or fish anymore. They want a variety of food. Then, they don't want to do the cute things they did to captivate your heart anymore. Such cunningness, such planning and drama! Once, they know that they have gotten you, they drop all acts and be the King and Queen that rules the roost! That's cats for you.

All a flurry

Have you ever wondered what it is like to ride at the back of an ambulance? If you do and you have not, don't fret, it is not worth wondering. I took a ride in an ambulance down to Changi to accompany a student. His face and a fast softball collided. Not a pretty result. Blood, blood, blood everywhere. All from 2 cuts around the eye. But still, blood dripped everywhere. Yeah, so that's how I ended up at the back of an ambulance. Nothing like the shows you watch like ER, Third Watch or whatever Hollywood feeds into our gullible minds. It was all very sedated, the paramedics were kind and calm. I was all in a flurry, because the girls are in a room at one end of the school and the office is at the other end. I had to run and lock up the room, get my stuff and of course shout last minute instructions at my kids and ask a favour from a colleague, why would I not be in a flurry?

So, I spent 4 hours in a hospital with a set of parents who cannot speak English at all. Lucky another colleague came. We started talking about holidays and other nonsense. So I told him of what went on in a course I attended yesterday. The trainer, a British who had taught in Singapore and Western Australia told this story:

A Singaporean went to Western Australia to teach Bahasa Indonesia. So holidays came and he was dissatisfied with the performance of one of his classes. So he went to the Principal and said "I have a very weak class of students. I will tutor them for 1 and 1/2 hours everyday during the hols."
The Principal replied "It is the holidays - the students are having fun on their holidays, they are out surfing. You should go and enjoy your holidays."

Isn't that a great story? We all wished that our Ministry and Principal would say such things. Ban remedials, extra lessons, let the kids take back their childhood and let teachers have a well deserved rest. We came to a conclusion that there is paranoia about grades and doing well and getting As for exams. A student who has all As for his exams may not be the nicest person or someone I want to lead the country. A very weak student on the other hand has much more EQ and understanding, empathy and a heart and that person is someone who I would proudly proclaim as my student. So, the process of developing a person should go beyond grades. But I digress, the issue of social emotional learning is something to be discussed on its own. My point is, why are teachers still working hard during hols? Why are teachers tortured and punished into going back to school to give kids remedials? My take is, if students don't have the courtesy to pay attention in normal curriculum time and don't hand in work, why should I give up my holidays to re-teach them again? It does not make sense. At least if I have kids who are just slow learners, I wouldn't mind. It all boils down to grades and ranking. To quote Shakespeare "Something is wrong in the state of Denmark" well, in this case, Singapore.

I can't do anything about the situation I am in, it is too huge. It would mean changing the whole system amd mindset of the whole nation. Since it can't be done, maybe I should consider just migrating for the slower path. The path that allows me to stop and smell the roses, the path that tells me to relax in the countryside, and there is actual countryside! Sigh, wouldn't that be a dream come true?

By the way, the student who got hit by the softball, he is fine. He required a few stitches on the 2 cuts around his eye, but he will live to tell his tale. He might have a scar, but scars add character and some chicks dig scars. Hehe hhee. It is a rite of passage. You are not a true softballer unless you have sustained an injury. hahah.

End of

May has ended and June has started. End of the first week of hols! Arrgh! it is going by so fast, and I have not done plenty of things. So much for planning. See I planned this elaborate scheme of one month skating and exercising, reading, movies, go for a trip to Malaysia, sleeping and so much more. But I have only gone for 2 yoga combat classes and went to school for remedials and training. But, I have been reading. I bought books. I chanced upon Times and Borders on my many errands and decided I have to get some books. I can't stand borrowing from the library especially during the hols. They are too crowded and noisy with kids and I can't find what I want to read anyways. So I bought loads of books, mostly chick literature. I wanted to go back to my usual reading of philosophical, deep thinking sort of books, but I decided that my brains are fried (because of school) and cannot take any intense novels for now. Have not been reading for so long, I really should put aside some money every month to buy books. Errmm...wait, that would mean I have to spare some time in my already packed schedule to go shopping, and oh yeah, spare some time to read....When would that be? Some time between 12-4 in the morning, when I suffer from insomnia or when I wake up from one of my many school induced stress nightmares? Perhaps.

At least I am going to see Peterpan band on the 14th and 17th. I am thinking of changing my blogskin to Peterpan. But, I would feel like a groupie ... (okie chups, i know, not groupie, fan from a fan club). oh well, I might just change my blogskin...we shall see.

May

I love May. It is a glorious month, mainly because it is my birthday month. Heh heh. Despite the fact that I grow up spending all my birthdays taking exams, I still love May. Maybe because I love taking exams. Of course now, I do all the marking in May, but still May is a glorious, wonderful month.

May is a beautiful month because
1. I was born in May
2. It is Spring/Summer season
3. A lot of flowers bloom in May
4. It is the month before June hols
5. I was born in May. he heh

haha. Okie, yupps, i know a lot of wonderful people who's birthday falls in May. This year's birthday is quite memorable. Mainly because I was too busy marking that I actually forgot my birthday but many students helped me remember. The celebration by the softball boys and presents were touching. Thank you. :)

In other news, I saw a squirrel on the way to school on Monday. I don't think anyone else noticed. It was cute. It leapt from branch to branch gracefully. It is the small Asian version one, I believe. Not the huge ones like I saw in Chiangmai a long time ago. It is quite heartening though to know that such elusive creatures had migrated to BR park. I would be happier if I could see eagles back at the park. There used to be a couple when I was younger, now there are no more. The BR park is getting more matured now, so perhaps more animals will come. I hope....

Sisterhood of the Magnetic Chains

Wonderful weekend. Thanks to my sohabahs. We have a new name - Sisterhood of the Magnetic Chains. :)

I am so glad that I took a break from the crazy marking and school stuff and had this hen night /slumber party. It has been a while since I had this much fun. Pool, dinner, horror movie, chick flick, scrabble, breakfast and the Little India experience, they are such a blast! It didn't matter that we were sucky at pool (aai, keep your hands of the balls!) or we made such a ruckus everywhere we went, we were together and that is most important. Ok babes, next time we do this, no more horor movies. :)

I am going to honour my Sohabah contract. Having it laminated and framed. :) Love you people to pieces (rule no. 3). XXXOOO (rule no 5). (aai, you did not honour rule 4 - tell us the truth all the time - threading hurts! Ticklish, indeed! )

For the love of the game

My B division boys - My Gentlemen

Their dreams are shattered. Hopes of glory gone. My heart feels heavy for them. Tears in my eyes. It is hard for me to see them thwarted again then I am sure it must be harder for them.

I have seen how hard they have worked to improve themselves. I could sense their desire to win. They have a vast knowledge of the game, but circumstances are not on their side, again. Their journey as AHS softballers will come to a close in a few days time, a journey that was cut short. It may end for now but I do hope they will continue on their journey in softball in years to come. Don't give up, my boys. Be strong and prevail, one day you will achieve the gold.

A group of gentlemen. Smart, funny, charming, polite, humble, disciplined and talented - was the feedback a lot of teachers had given me. I could not agree more. I am very proud of them mainly because they have good character. I would like to follow up on them when they leave AHS, to see the paths they will take. I am sure they will continue to be the gentlemen they are today and I would like to be there to applaud them in their future successes.

They have not disappoint me, they are and will always be my gentlemen.